An Appreciation of “The Weave”: Trump’s New Literary Contraption
“I do the weave. You know what the weave is? I’ll talk about like, nine different things and they all come back brilliantly together, and it’s like, and friends of mine that are, like English professors, they say, ‘It’s the most brilliant thing I’ve ever seen.’”
—Donald Trump speaking at a rally in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, August 30
“My Beautiful Body”
I tell you what
I had a good life
Before I did this.
Nobody was shooting
At me.
I had a hell of a life.
Oh, those locations!
Those beautiful …
I could have been
I could have been
Sunbathing on
The beach.
You have never seen a body
So beautiful.
Much better than
Much better than
Sleepy Joe.
“In Darkest Africa”
They come from
From the Congo
In Africa.
Many people from the Congo.
I don’t know what that is
But they come out of jails
In the Congo.
“Common Sense: An Aubade”
We don’t want men in women’s sports.
We want to have strong borders
And we want to have fair elections
Not rigged elections.
And we have a lot of problems in this country.
But if you take a look
At all of it,
Everything
That we’re doing
Every single thing
That we’re doing
Is based on the structure
And common sense.
I was looking at the various states.
And I think 35 states could be the equivalent of Norway and Denmark.
If you think about it.
“Detroit”
The whole country is going to be like,
You want to know the truth—
It’ll be like Detroit.
Our whole country will end up being like Detroit if she’s your president.
You’re going to have a mess
On your hand.
—address to the Detroit Economic Club, October 13
“The Most Beautiful Word”
To me
The most beautiful word in the dictionary
Is tariff
And it’s my favorite word.
It needs a public relations firm to help
But to me
It’s the most beautiful word
In the dictionary.
“Ode On an Autoworker”
You know what they really are?
Assembly lines
Like in South Carolina.
But they build everything in Germany
And then
They assemble it here.
They get away with murder
Because they say
“Oh yes, we’re building cars.”
They don’t build cars.
They take them out of a box
And they assemble them.
We could have
Our child do it.
“The Fed”
Look
I think it’s the greatest job
In government.
You show up to the office
once a month
and you say
Let’s see
Flip a coin.
And everybody talks about you
Like you’re
A god.
Oh, what will he do?
I mean, before, the guy used to walk
Into my office.
He was like begging.
He was
He was
Fine.
“The Weave”
If you go to war
You know
There’s a possibility you go to war.
I kept us out of war.
I was the only president in 82 years
That kept you out of a war
Except I defeated ISIS.
But I inherited that war.
There’s no wars.
And by the way
By the way
And I think it’s very important—
You can go—
You know, I call it
The Weave.
You can call it
It got a
You have The Weave.
As long as you end up in
The right location
At the end.