A New Mom Hates Her Baby’s Name So Much That She ‘Dreads Saying It’ & Reddit Is Begging Her To Take Action

Parents typically spend nine months ruminating over what they will name their baby, and that’s when the angst ends. But a new mom on Reddit is now four months postpartum and still isn’t content with the baby name she and her husband gave their youngest.

And “isn’t content” is definitely putting it lightly, since the woman who originally posted (the “OP” in Reddit lingo) is celebrating the fact that she no longer cries when someone uses her baby’s name. Yes, there was a time when she cried when someone would use the baby’s name. And if you’re [understandably] thinking this sounds like textbook postpartum depression, go ahead and take that off the table momentarily because OP insists that’s not the case. “Please don’t say I have PPD — I do not, I am very happy with my life, my baby, and my family,” she wrote.

And yet, she “dreads” having to say her baby’s name. “I only call them ‘baby,’ ‘baby bean,’ or ‘little one,'” she explained.

Choosing the name

So how did we end up here? Well, her husband “loves” the name but told his wife she had the final say. After having three children of the same sex, she felt like she had “run out of names” that she really liked, and so she went with her husband’s pick.

“Yes, I did voice [not liking the name] to my husband about a month or less in when I was crying everytime someone used baby’s name,” she wrote. “I figured ‘It’s just hormones, I will love baby’s name once they settle down’ or ‘It is lingering gender disappointment’ (I am not disappointed anymore I absolutely adore my baby).”

And yet … something still just isn’t clicking. OP wishes she used the “backup name” instead but it’s been four months and all of her loved ones use the baby’s given name. In a couple of weeks, OP’s family will come to visit and she doesn’t want to hear seven people using the name, so she’s turned to Reddit for advice.

The Baby’s Name

So what is the name that OP dreads using? Rowan. It’s a multicultural gender-neutral name that often means “red.” Redditors agree that it’s “beautiful” in a way that’s somehow both unique and modern yet traditional. “Rowan gives nature, artistic, whimsical energy while still feeling like a grounded, strong name,” one person commented.

When a Reddit user suggested using a nickname for Rowan or getting an assist from the middle initial (“Like is RJ an option?”), OP said that her husband will say “Row,” but it doesn’t sound like OP has been using it.

What Now?

Reddit is in resounding agreement that OP should do two things: Change the name and see a therapist.

First of all, you can totally change a baby’s name. Just look at Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott’s son Aire (previously Wolf).

“So change the name. It’s not that serious. If you’re that unhappy, change it now while baby is still young,” one person said. Another added, “Your baby is 4 months old, and will be alive for literal decades. Don’t fall prey to sunk cost fallacy if you actually regret this choice. It will be a funny story for your child to tell their whole life! ‘My parents changed my name when I was a baby because they couldn’t make up their mind.’ I would’ve loved to have that line for two truths one lie or something as a teenager.”

Exactly. “Baby bean” has not learned their name yet, so, if OP and her husband can agree on a new name, they should change it ASAP. As for this upcoming family visit, one Redditor told OP exactly what to text everyone.

“Say, ‘BTW, we’ve been calling her Row, and that’s the name she will respond to if you’re holding her.’ Trust me, they’ll want to use the name she responds to!”

Which is totally genius because I would also use whatever name a parent told me would get a cute little baby bean looking my way.

As for the mental health support, Redditors agree that even if OP doesn’t have PPD (which she should still get screened for!), she has to “admit being so impacted that you can’t hear the name or call your child their name probably isn’t emotionally healthy.”

“Regardless of you having PPD or not, it seems you need to talk about this in therapy,” one person said. Another agreed, adding, “There is more going on here than disliking a name.”

Before you go, check out some of Reddit’s wildest baby name dilemmas.