TikTok's retro dating dance trends harken back to the days of courtship
TikTok is in its Regency Era with creators dancing their way to love.
The most popular dance trend on the platform sees men appeal to a woman's father with their dance moves. Before breaking into dance, men lip sync to a sound ripped from Gilmore Girl's Kirk's (Sean Gunn) bizarre Season 2 short film. In the soundbite Kirk (and the chorus of TikTok boys) say, "I love your daughter." Kirk's love interest's father replies, "What do you have to offer her?" And he (and all the boys) say, "Nothing, only this…" At this point, the men employ their goofiest dance moves — Kirk to "White Lines (Don't Don't Do It)" by Grandmaster Melle Mel and TikTok boys to Olly Alexander's "Breathe."
The remixed Gilmore Girls scene soundtracks nearly 100,000 videos and dozens have racked up millions of views. A video posted by Austin Pepito garnered 41 million views and nearly seven million likes.
Women leave comments on the videos like, "This is working for me I fear," "I'm going to miss you when I scroll away," and "Never skipping [the] 'I love your daughter' trend.'" One female creator posted a video captioned, "i love this trend i hope it never dies all the boys look so cute doing their little dances."
Comedian and creator and star of English Teacher, Brian Jordan Alvarez, posted three videos to the trend and followed up with a video addressing their horny reception. In it, he jokes, "I'm getting hit on by girls and I'm like, 'Where was this energy when I was pretending to be straight?'"
Zo, a 28-year-old TikTokker who posts under the handle @pokemonmasterzo, called the trend "successful peacocking" in a call with Mashable. "It's successful because people are falling for it. Those dumb or funny dance moves actually do work," he explained. His video to the trend received nearly four million views and 550,000 likes.
But the trend also harkens back to the time of courtship — and not just in its involvement of a woman's father and heteronormative nature. In the 18th and early 19th centuries, dancing at a ball was the path to marriage among the English middle class and elite. As depicted in Jane Austen novels and more recently in Bridgerton, much hedged upon the ritual of a gentleman asking a lady to dance and the lady refusing or accepting his hand. Balls were also one of the few places where displays of sexuality were socially permitted.
Not unlike on TikTok where participants adhere to the rules and norms of a dance trend, ball participants followed strict choreography and rules, and adherence could've rewarded them with a husband or wife. Now TikTokkers are rewarded with a thirst comment, or a thirst follow if they're lucky.
One TikTokker, @cheyennerose1997, made a video to the trending sound saying, "This trend is just boys doing bird-like mating dances and girls realizing bird-like mating dances totally work on them." It received over five million views and 800,000 likes.
If the response to the "I love your daughter" trend is any indication, these videos could also be the path to love, even if it's only parasocial. It suggests that ritualized dancing hasn't lost its allure in modern dating.
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The "I love your daughter" trend is one of three dating-adjacent dance trends overtaking FYPs right now.
Another trend sees men performing interpretive dances to get something from a woman, usually their partner. One popular iteration of the trend reads, "making my roommate's boyfriend perform an interpretive dance in order to spend the night" — one video received over 11 million views and nearly two million likes. A rhythmic drum track first uploaded by a modern dancer scores the trend and it's been used in over 12,000 videos.
But some single men are getting in on the trend too. One posted a video captioned, "I don't have a girlfriend yet but if I did this would be the dance I would do for them" to the tune of over 17 million views and over two million likes. A comment with over 100,000 likes says, "Suddenly, I understand nature and birds. If a male did this dance for me, I'd simply swoon. Ugh."
The other trend focuses on women pursuing men. Soundtracked by "Birthday Sex" by Jeremih, each video reads, "when he asks you to dance for him, but…" followed by a reason the creator is doing the dance she's doing. For example, one creator wrote, "when he asks me to dance, but i grew up learning indian classical dance." It received over 15 million views and over two million likes. Another said, "when he asks you to dance for him but you were one of rihanna's marshmallows," in reference to Rihanna's Super Bowl performance.
Sage Thomas, a 22-year-old creator, posted two videos to the trend. "Sometimes the dating world is taken so seriously," Thomas told Mashable. She explained that she thinks so many people participated because struggling with dating is so relatable. "It pokes fun at how bad the dating world is right now, like I have nothing else to offer besides my amazing dance moves," she said.
Thomas' comments imply that these trends are a response to modern dating. If we can't dance together at a ball, at least we can watch each other dance onscreen.