I had an affair & my best friend exposed it – the worst bit is she’s a serial cheat herself

Most people trust their friends with their deepest secrets. 

Unfortunately, one woman discovered the hard way that this isn’t always wise after her best friend spilled her secret to her daughter. 

The mum, who wishes to remain anonymous, confided in an “older woman” about her affair.

Now, she finds herself in a tough spot and has turned to the online forum Mumsnet for advice. 

She wrote: “I would appreciate some advice. I confided in an older woman that I was having an affair.” 

The mum explained that she trusted her friend completely, as the friend was married to a “serial cheat” and had multiple lovers over the years.

She continued: “I trusted her completely as she was the wife of a serial cheat and had herself many lovers over the years. 

“To cut a long story short, she became enraged over an incident she believed I was involved in without hearing my side and called my 16-year-old daughter, telling her everything. 

“All my deepest, darkest secrets. 

“She also embellished quite a lot, making my daughter distraught.

“I’ve talked with my daughter and told her the truth on most matters. My husband doesn’t know, but I fear he suspects and will find out. Maybe this woman will tell him as well?”

In her plea for advice, the mum is grappling with the fallout of her friend’s betrayal and the potential impact on her family.

She continues: “Why would a woman in her mid 70’s do this wicked thing to a young girl?

“What should I do? Btw [by the way] she blocked me on all forms of communication. 

“Do I confess (the affair has been over for two years now)? 

“Or do I damage control by remaining silent?

“I’m guilty and horrible for allowing this to happen but my marriage of over 28 years has been sexless for almost 14 years. 

“No excuse I know. Do I confess and run the risk of divorce or do I remain silent and pray I can make this go away?”

If you are not apologetic, then don’t apologise. Tell your truth

Mumsnet comment

The post gained lots of attention from other parents with many rushing to the comments section to share their thoughts. 

One suggested: “You must tell your DH (darling husband), because if you don’t then that burden is on your daughter’s shoulders.”

Another added: “You can not leave your daughter with the burden of knowing this and keeping it secret from her dad. 

“That will be incredibly emotionally damaging.

“You are going to have to put your daughter first and confess everything to your oh.”

A third wrote: “Consider booking a counselling appointment for you and your darling husband.

“Tell him there. Tell him the basics only, and that you wouldn’t have raised it but for the recent events and that your DD [darling daughter] knows. 

“Be honest, and make your apologies if you must. If you are not apologetic, then don’t apologise. Tell your truth. 

Unless you’ve been there, be careful about hooking your judgy pants too high

Mumsnet comment

“I’d be saying ‘frankly, I assumed we were both playing away after 14 sexless years and that we had an unspoken agreement that the main thing was not hurting anyone and keeping a joint home life for DD. 

“I am truly sorry that my actions have now led to hurt for you, and DD.

“Not getting s**, connection, intimacy and your partner refusing to engage about it is awful. 

“Unless you’ve been there, be careful about hooking your judgy pants too high.”