Tales from the Coffeeshop: Bigger shoes, thinner substance
WHEN he was foreign minister, our current prez loved to use the economic term “added value” to describe his foreign policy initiatives and agreements he forged. They invariably “added value” to something or other, which was never quite clear, and this “added value” was neither tangible not quantifiable. It just sounded good.
His successor at the ministry, Constantinos Kombos, who also recognises the added value of fancy terms with little meaning has coined his own phrase. I refer to our “diplomatic footprint” that Kombos wants to bolster internationally, although currently our carbon footprint is much bigger, and we are paying for it.
He started expanding our “diplomatic footprint” while in New York for the UN General Assembly, with contacts with countries “with which contact is not frequent” – probably because they are on the other side of the world, and we have nothing in common with them.
Last week Kyproulla had a big opportunity to strengthen her “diplomatic footprint” by standing for election to the UN’s Human Rights Council (HRC), a talking shop for Third World countries, and she won a seat for the first time, making us all very proud. Our footprint grew so much, Kyproulla will have difficulty finding shoes in her size soon.
KOMBOS said this was “a significant success for our Cyprus, as it was the first time we managed to get elected to this organ.”
What was “even more significant, was the fact that we managed to come second in the regional group we are a part of, with a number of votes that is particularly significant,” he said and explained that we took 167 votes from the 189 member-states that voted.
The only disappointment was that the minister did not mention our diplomatic footprint in the post-victory comments made to Kyproulla’s Tass news agency. The result was “further proof that our diplomatic horizon is broadening,” he said.
Previewing the vote, Tass put the difficulty of the contest in perspective. The Cyprus Republic, it reported “is in the regional group of Asia-Pacific that has the most competition, with six countries contesting five seats.”
And why was it so important to get a seat on this 47-member talking shop, described by diplomatic sources as “one of the most important bodies of the UN system”? Apart from expanding her diplomatic footprint, the diplomatic sources, told Tass that Kyproulla “will have the opportunity to raise issues such as the rights of children, gender equality, women’s rights, rights of vulnerable groups….”
The HRC has been desperately waiting for Kyproulla to raise these issues.
PREZNIKTWO could not hide his pride and joy about our election to the HRC, in an address to the WISTA International conference on Thursday, putting a turbo-charged positive spin on it and on his delusions of grandeur.
He also brought up Kombos’ footprint, raising suspicions that he may have coined this idiotic phrase. He said our election was “a development that not only strengthens the regional and international footprint of our country, but it also shows how we are approached by the international community, on a vital issue for everyone, the issue of human rights.”
And it came at a time when our role in the region, through the dispatch of humanitarian aid and the evacuation of third country nationals, is recognized by the international community. It was no coincidence at all that Kyproulla was elected with the second highest number of votes by the member-states, he said.
The boosting of our delusions of grandeur could also help his tireless efforts to solve the Cyprob, said the prez. “The fact that the role of the Cyprus Republic, the standing of the Cyprus Republic, with all these developments, is being upgraded, reinforces our effort and argumentation in relation to the need to find a workable and viable settlement.” How, he did not say.
EXPECTATIONS of Tuesday’s informal dinner in New York are below zero, even though, according to the Prez, “all these efforts at regional, European and international level strengthen this effort of ours, for ending the occupation, which is our number one priority.”
I just don’t see Erdogan ordering Tatar to adopt a more flexible attitude at the dinner, because the role of the Cyprus Republic has been upgraded, but what do I know? I am no expert on how diplomacy works, nor do I have any information about the UNSG’s plans.
Tatar has said there was “no agenda” and that “the two leaders will exchange views in a social setting.” The question is why is Antonio Guterres wasting his valuable time hosting a dinner for two leaders, whose views on a settlement are unbridgeable?
At least our guy has adopted a positive attitude towards the dinner. “I am going to New York so there could be a positive result,” he said. “I am not interested in the blame game, in accusations, condemnations and so forth.” He will leave this job to his minions, who will brief the hacks accompanying him to the Big Apple for the non-event.
JUSTICE and Public Order Minister, Marios Hartsiotis, came up with rather novel explanation for not resigning over the escape of convicted murder, Doros Theophanous, who was on the run for three days.
There were calls for his resignation in the media, especially after the Prez decided to sack the chief and deputy chief of police over the mess. Hartsiotis said his resignation would have been “the cowardly and easy thing to do, giving food to satisfy specific groups of the population, but also to satisfy populism.”
Some would say that the cowardly thing was not taking responsibility for what happened because he did not want to give up his ministerial post. The minister was taking responsibility by staying on to sort out the police. “It would be irresponsible to walk out and let the next one sort it out,” he said, underlining his courageous approach.
I HAVE to say that I am warming to our youngest ever MEP Fidias Panayiotou because he has a rebellious rock ‘n’ roll attitude and refuses to be intimidated or bullied by the boring old fuddy-duddies trying to tell him what constitutes correct political behaviour.
The fact that he pissed off self-righteous lawyer Chris Triantafyllides, who likes to tweet directives on what constitutes politically correct behaviour was commendable. Triantafyllides, a representative of the older generation, saw a picture posted by Fidias in a hotel in Kyrenia puffing at a shisha and was so angry he felt obliged to put the young upstart in his place.
He tweeted: “Nobody else is to blame. All of us are to blame because we are carried away on the spur of a moment by karagiozides (morons) like you. Shame on you, you lout. Shame on you. A little respect does no harm.”
AFTER this tweet, Fidias was contacted by a TV show in Greece, where people sit in a studio and find things to get angry about, condescendingly putting their victims in their place. One of the angry men in the studio slammed Fidias for taking a picture with a Turkish Cypriot influencer on August 14, the day the second Turkish offensive in Cyprus commenced.
An angry woman told him that he was doing things for “views and followers,” to which Fidias replied, that he had taken a picture with a TC influencer. “What did you want, me to kill him? Tell me what you wanted me to do.”
And then the angry man told him that he was turning “blood to ‘likes’,” which was a bit rich considering the show was viciously attacking Fidias to boost its own ratings. Fidias denied he turned blood to ‘likes’ and asked: “What must I do? Kill? Throw bombs?” He then sent kisses to the studio and told the angry guests “I love you.”
Rebellious youth is what Kyproulla desperately needs and Fidias gives hope, even if he occasionally talks complete nonsense.
A CUSTOMER came up with an explanation as to why our Prez was so reluctant to release the list with the names of all the supporters, friends and relatives he appointed as advisors.
One of his personal advisors, Anastasia Konstandouri, who had been his secretary when he was government spokesman and was then taken to his office at the foreign ministry, was ineligible for such a job. Not because she was a secretary all her career, but because she is a pensioner and could not have been hired as an advisor. What advice she is giving the Prez, to whom she is directly answerable, nobody knows.
Konstandouri’s daughter, meanwhile, is employed at the foreign ministry, but she was not posted abroad after about eight years of service. This went against the ministry’s regulations, so a few months ago she was given the best possible overseas posting for a Cypriot – she was sent to the consular section of our embassy in Greece. No posting in Iran or Mexico for the daughter of the president’s advisor on secretarial matters.
A FEW days ago, I arranged to meet a friend in one of Nicosia’s oldest pubs and I was really looking forward to having a few lahmajoun with my beer because they were pretty good. When the waitress came to take our order, and I asked for a few lahmajoun she informed me that “we only do vegan lahmajoun.”
I was shaken by this information and bombarded the waitress with questions. “How can you call something a lahmajoun, when it does not have the main ingredient of a lahmajoun – minced meat? Whose idea was it to replace the proper lahmajoun with a vegan version. And are there many losers that order the vegan lahmajoun?”
She smiled and suggested a quesadilla with chilli con carne filling as an alternative. As long as the carne is not vegan, I will have it, I said. But I still think the person who came up with the idea of the vegan lahmajoun should be named and shamed.