I slept with my hubby’s brother on his 40th birthday – I’ve been married for 12 years, but he can’t give me what I want
A WOMAN has revealed that she has been married for 12 years and loves her husband, but has slept with her brother-in-law.
She confessed that her man, 50, can’t give her the one thing she wants – sex – which is why she slept with his brother whilst they were on a family holiday.
The woman explained that she doesn’t want to make excuses for her behaviour, but now doesn’t know what to do.
Opening up about the situation on social media, the anonymous woman took to Reddit to share her story, leaving many open-mouthed.
Posting on the r/Marriage thread, the 39-year-old woman titled her post ‘I slept with my brother-in-law and now I want to disappear’, as she confessed: “I don’t know what to do now. This will break my husband’s heart and my sister-in-law (my husband’s sister).
“Last Saturday was my brother-in-law’s 40th birthday. We celebrated with a vacation in Mykonos. My mother and father-in-law, husband, his sister, her husband and me.”
Giving some context on her marriage, the woman shared: “I have been married to my husband for 12 years. 10 of them are without sex.
“What the relationship lacked in sex, it compensated in affection and intimacy. We love each other.
“I have never been so loved in my life and I have only had negative experiences with sex so I chose to stay married to my husband.
“Beside the panic that I get some nights with the thought that I might never have sex again, my life is happy. My marriage is happy.
“We have a lot of friends and great families that love us. We have money and we have great careers.
“The thought of living without my husband for some chance at sex is unbearable to me.
“My husband is 50. He is not going to start having sex with me now. He said that he loves me and that nobody will love me the way he does.
“He said if I left I will maybe have sex but never be loved. I’m 39. Nobody will be interested in starting a life with a 39 year old.
We slept together twice in one night in Mykonos. Everyone went to bed but us and we started talking and drinking
Reddit user
“My brother-in-law has been married to my sister-in-law for 20 years. They have two children together and they just bought a house.
“They’re not financially stable enough to get a divorce and it will ruin my sister-in-law’s heart and future.”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
But whilst in Greece, things quickly took an unexpected turn, as the woman continued: “We slept together twice in one night in Mykonos. Everyone went to bed but us and we started talking and drinking.
“I told him everything and he was shocked that I haven’t had sex in so long and I don’t know but my longing just took over me and when he touched me I let him.”
I love my husband. How can I tell him why I did it? Especially because this is what he knows I long for
Reddit user
Unsure at what to do, the woman wrote: “I’m not trying to make excuses. I hate myself for what I did but I don’t know what to do now.
“I love my husband. How can I tell him why I did it? Especially because this is what he knows I long for. The only thing he can’t give me.
“And my sister-in-law and her children? I can’t ruin them.
“I need help, please don’t judge me too harshly because I wish I was never born.
“I am thinking of two options: Live with the guilt. Ask for divorce but never tell my husband why. Save him and his family the pain. Or at least say that I slept with some stranger.”
Reddit users react
Reddit users flocked to the comments to share their thoughts on the situation, but there was a clear divide.
Whilst many slammed the woman for her infidelity, others were more concerned over the woman’s husband’s actions.
You’re very, very wrong for what you did
Reddit user
One person said: “Live with your guilt. Never tell anyone. It would be selfish of you to try and alleviate your own guilt by ruining everyone’s lives, which it will surely do.”
Another added: “You’re very, very wrong for what you did and it’s way above the pay grade of what you should be coming to Reddit for.”
A third commented: “You shouldn’t have cheated. You should have left instead.”
Your husband is abusing you. Intimacy is important in a marriage. Sex is important
Reddit user
Meanwhile, someone else penned: “Your husband told you that no one will love you if you leave him?! That is manipulative and disgusting.
“He has been telling you for years that you are a person unworthy of love outside of his love and his love alone. That is just horrible of him.
“He is scared to be alone and is manipulating you to keep you in this sexless and unsatisfying marriage.”
Whilst a second chimed in: “Your husband is abusing you. Intimacy is important in a marriage. Sex is important.”