Nightmare on the course: 10 shocking stories from golf course superintendents

In 25 years of traveling to visit with golf course maintenance teams around the country, you can imagine some of the stories I’ve heard — stories that are wild, weird and sometimes almost unbelievable. Bizarre stuff tends to happen on a golf course, and, for whatever reason, usually the superintendent and the maintenance crew are the ones who witness the chaos.

In what I hope starts a new tradition here at Golfdom, I’m sharing, with their permission, stories of some of the crazy things superintendents I know have seen over the years.

— Seth Jones, Editor-in-Chief

The man in the lake

As told by Anthony Williams, CGCS, MG, vice president, Invited Clubs

“I will be honest: Everywhere I went in my career, I felt like I was a lightning rod for the odd.

Everyone knows Friday the 13th. At PineIsle (Atlanta, now closed), we had what we forever referred to as Saturday the 14th. Lake Lanier was on the course, and it always had a reputation for being haunted, with the native burial grounds nearby and whatnot.

My assistant calls me on Saturday, Oct. 14th. We’re jamming, and the course is going full bore with a packed tee sheet. He says, ‘There’s a car parked right next to the lake on 18, the engine is running and the car stereo is blasting classic rock. But there’s no one here.’ I got down there, and by then, my assistant had discovered a full set of men’s clothing, including shoes and socks, neatly folded and placed on the edge of the lake.

These are the days when you used to have to register your car license plate with the resort. I called the front desk and asked, ‘There’s a rental car down here … is this car registered to the resort — is this a guest?’ Turns out it is and he’s staying on property. I tell them, ‘You need to call security and do a wellness check.’

Security gets to the room, and they make a gruesome discovery written on the bathroom mirror, in blood, ‘I’m sorry.’ There’s a suicide note nearby.

So now we’ve called 911, and the 18th green is a crime scene. There’s yellow tape everywhere, an army of police and detectives. We can’t get anywhere near it.

Turns out this guy was wanted by several bad characters for various reasons, had multiple aliases and the police are convinced that this was a poorly staged fake suicide.

They never did find the guy, to my knowledge. Every Oct. 14th, we’d remind each other of the craziness, and sometimes we’d even wonder … do you think something bad maybe really did happen there?”

The devil, you say?

As told by Mike Bavier, CGCS-Retired, longtime Chicagoland superintendent

“We had a young guy, I still remember him well, who was our night waterman … until he wasn’t.

I get to work one morning, and this kid is sitting there, shivering and pale white. I instantly get worried because it looks like something bad has happened, and I’m about to learn something I don’t want to. He tells me he’s done with the night watering, never again is he going out there after dark.

I ask him what happened, and that’s when he tells me he saw the devil himself come out of the lake on No. 15.

I laughed and told him, that’s the scuba diver who comes out to steal golf balls that come up short on the par 3! Not the devil! Still, that kid never night watered for us again.”

What’s that sound?

As told by Bill Larson, CGCS, Town & CC, St. Paul, Minn.

“We used to do this big bash at the club every Halloween. About a thousand people would come out. We’d do hayrides, people would get dressed up, everything.

I’m manning the gate. The cops are there to manage traffic. It’s dark out, and I hear a noise. As a superintendent, you recognize the various pieces of equipment in your shop based on sound alone. I can tell that’s my Sand Pro that just fired up. But why? The shop is closed, and there’s no one up there.

I drive up there, and here’s this woman wearing a Clint Eastwood-style jacket, driving the Sand Pro, and she’s really hammered. I reach over and pull the key out. She stands up, and all this peanut butter, jelly and even a loaf of bread falls out of her jacket. The jars of jelly are rolling down the hill.

I said, ‘You can keep the PB&Js, but that’s my Sand Pro.’”

The backwards ball

As told by Patrick Affolder, superintendent, McAllen (Texas) CC

“The scariest thing I ever saw on the golf course was on the range. A mother was teaching her young son, a first-timer, how to hit a golf ball. I don’t know how he managed to do it, but somehow, he hit a ball straight backward and it hit her right in the mouth, knocking her teeth out.

She was in a lot of pain, bleeding everywhere, so we called for an ambulance.

I often think about that kid. I wonder if he ever played golf again. And did his parents give him up for adoption?”

A painful ride

As told by Thad Thompson, superintendent, Terry Hills GC, Batavia, N.Y.

“I have had some terrible things happen to the course. I once found 54 divots taken on a green in a half-moon pattern. I’ve had 14 greens damaged by a four-wheeler.

But the worst thing that ever happened to me? That’s easy. I was a new superintendent, and I was trying to be the boss. I needed to talk to my guys and give them some direction. They’re over on 18. There’s a path through the woods between 17 and 18. I decide to stop before I get there and take a leak.

Suddenly, I feel like I’m on fire. I look down, and there’s a baby hornet trapped in my underwear, stinging the hell out of me.

I didn’t talk to my guys. That was a long drive back to the shop.”

What did you do?

As told by Rick Mooney, vice president of maintenance and development, Shore Lodge | Whitetail Club, McCall, Idaho

“One of my worst nightmares almost came true. The owner of our facility bought the Grand Del Mar in San Diego. Once in a while, he’d ask me to head out there to help out during the winters, which was fine. There’s nothing bad about San Diego in the winter.

But the housing situation there was a little goofy. He was building these spec homes — only two of them were fully functional. There’s one that he used when he was there; it’s a beautiful place. Then there’s the other place, and there’s not a stitch of furniture in it, no plates, no cups in the cabinets. The only thing there were two twin beds in the main bedroom. This is where I stayed.

On Sundays, I’d go to his house to do my laundry. The fridge is, of course, fully stocked. You know me — I’m doing laundry by myself, so I’m going to grab a couple of beers and watch Sunday Night Football.

One Monday, I got a call from the owner, and he was irate. ‘What the hell did you do to my house? You ruined it!’ My stomach drops, and I’m instantly thinking, ‘What did I do to ruin a multi-million-dollar home?’ He tells me that I left the upstairs bathtub water running, and now the upstairs is flooded, and water is leaking through the ceiling.

I told him, ‘You know I wasn’t up there taking a bath.’ It turns out his maid was there, got distracted somehow, and tried to blame the guy who shows up on Sundays to do laundry. Needless to say, I talked my way out of that one.”

Where’s the wicker?

As told by Matt Shaffer, superintendent emeritus, Merion GC, Ardmore, Pa.

“When I was at Merion, we had wickers (wicker baskets instead of flags) on the East Course. Red on the front nine, orange on the back nine. We had a ‘wicker wagon’ and would go out before dusk and pick up all the wickers and put out white flags with a wicker stitched on them.

On a Halloween weekend, we came in and our East Course had a flag from every different course in the Philadelphia area on the greens, except for No. 13 and No. 18, near the clubhouse.

Can you imagine the time it took to pull this off? I always suspected it was a coordinated effort by the area interns, but I never heard a peep. We returned everyone’s flags, but we didn’t get all of ours back.”

The first-ever snow-out

As told by Shawn Emerson, associate principal, agronomic services, Ethos Golf

“We were getting ready for the 2009 Tradition at Desert Mountain, a Senior Tour major, and we’re very excited. It’s been 85 to 90 degrees every day, and everything is looking good.

Then we started getting weather — all of a sudden, it turned into hail, then snow. We’ve suddenly got three to four inches of snow in Arizona! The thing is, who has snow shovels or gloves in Arizona? I had to send the guys to Home Depot. They looked at them like they were crazy, buying 50 snow shovels.

What made it really strange was that the members were playing golf at the Renegade (Course) and Apache (Course). They didn’t even know what was going on at Cochise. There’s a parkway that goes by all the courses, and just past the curve — we were at 2,700 feet elevation — was where the snow started.

I sent everyone home and told them to come back at midnight, and we’d start removing snow. And then it snowed again! Two of the four days of the Tradition were snowed out — it was the first time in history that a PGA Tour event had rounds that were snowed out.”

Beware of the fog

As told by an anonymous Florida superintendent

“This was not a proud moment for me. It was early in my career, a rookie superintendent, working at a multi-course property. I had full reins on all agronomic decisions and I’m trying to make good decisions and impress people. I made the decision to spray an herbicide on all 18 collars.

At first, everything was fine. And then we had what’s called a temperature inversion. It’s like a heavy fog. I’ve seen ‘temperature inversion’ on labels before, but I really didn’t know what it was.

Sure enough, I killed all my collars. I still have nightmares about it. The weather that day was spooky, and as a superintendent, this is as spooky as it gets. It was in a perfect line on every collar, like I sprayed Roundup.

I can still vividly remember that morning — the low clouds and the fog. I don’t know if I was ever taught about temperature inversions in college; I had to learn the hard way. But my director had my back, and I didn’t lose my job. It’s a good lesson for any readers: be careful of a temperature inversion!”

Black Hawk down

As told by Steve Sarro, superintendent, Kelly Plantation GC, Destin, Fla.

“I was at the Broadmoor in Colorado Springs. Fort Carson is nearby, so we had a big military presence there. One day, I was at work, and I saw this Black Hawk helicopter coming down fast — it was making an emergency landing, and it came down hard on the No. 17 fairway.

I drive right over, and by then, the pilot is out surveying the damage. He told me there was some kind of engine malfunction and there is a massive oil leak about the size of a small car — all over the fairway. I ask him if everyone’s OK, and he says yes. They know he had to put the copter down there, and help is on the way.

I look back, and there is a group on the No. 17 tee. I asked, ‘Is it OK if these guys keep playing golf, or should I move the tee to the other side of the helicopter so a golf ball doesn’t hit it?’ He looks at me and says, ‘This thing is designed to take on gunfire. A golf ball sure as hell isn’t going to hurt it.’”

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