Can the White Sox do what the Royals just did?

Nope. That’s it. Nope

Nope.

That’s it? Just “Nope,” you say?

Yep.

You better keep going or you’re not getting paid for this

OK:

The recent deluge of national articles — The Athletic, ESPN and Sports Illustrated among them — bashing the White Sox and Jerry Reinsdorf in particular — “An owner who thinks he knows everything” etc. — has led to what is claimed to be a letter from Reinsdorf to fans, but reads a whole lot more like the something a whole roomful of spinmeisters put together before breaking out in hysterical laughter at the thought any of us rubes believing any of it.

It’s a shame that Reinsdorf can’t be believed, because another article in The Athletic last week told how the Kansas City Royals went from 106 losses to the playoffs (and since that writing, the ALDS) in just one year. The Royals had the advantage of a superstar in the making (and now made) in Bobby Witt Jr. and a highly-respected team leader with actual skills in Salvador Pérez, but the article detailed how they held a meeting a week after last season ended and a got everyone from owners to players to the front office to coaches to no doubt hot dog salespersons to buy into a major shift in policy and methods.

There were numerous keys to the K.C. success, none of which is likely to occur at 35th and Shields, or wherever the Sox may roam. The Royals went heavily into research and analytics, basically creating an entire department from scratch and reaching our far and wide, both inside and outside the baseball world, for the best people they could find, be it to properly prepare for next year’s draft or someone’s next at-bat. They got such a buy-in from players that they started recruiting free agents themselves. They ... well, basically, they did good.

WHY CAN’T IT HAPPEN WITH THE WHITE SOX?

’Nuff said.

’NUFF SAID?

Well, if you insist on more, the team will never make major improvements as long as Reinsdorf is in charge, and as long as basis step-up exists as law of the land; that is, as long as a law very rich folks bought for themselves that allows heirs to only count capital gains from the time of inheritance is in effect (which means forever), Jerry won’t sell. Reinsdorf is first, last and everything in the middle a tax attorney-turned-tax avoider, a man who doesn’t believe in ever paying his fair share, preferring to purchase or blackmail politicians into handing tax dollars to him.

(Feel free to prove me wrong about that, Jerry. I promise to admit my terrible error.)

That leaves any change at the top coming via the Grim Reaper, but longevity tables say the average 88-year-old male will live another four or five years, and chances are billionaires can stretch that a bit, so don’t place any bets on improvement in 2025. Or 2026. Or 2027. Or ...

It might be different if Reinsdorf were not also a control freak — so much a control freak that he even insists in naming every single member of the board of White Sox Charities, for crying out loud. But that being the case, a nice roundtable discussion as if among equals ain’t gonna happen. Keeping lips affixed to Jerry’s keister is the sole requirement for job longevity in the organization and will be as long as he’s around, and all the powers that don’t really be know it.

There is an imaginary world where Reinsdorf realizes the 21st Century has come to baseball, one in which he also realizes his billions aren’t going to do him a whole lot of good where he’s eventually heading (well, as far as we know, anyway). But the key word there is “imaginary.”

There’s also an imaginary world where Tony La Russa goes away and stays away and bothers the players and staff no more. Same key word as in the last paragraph.

FORGET ABOUT ALL THAT — WHAT ABOUT NEXT YEAR’S PLAYERS?

Could be decent pitching, if everybody comes through as hoped. It never turns out that way with pitching, but until next spring rolls around, hope exists.

As for position players, this was going to be a long list of horrible realities about each of them. But you probably know all that, so let’s just list who they will be if no one is traded (not even Luis Robert Jr.), all eligible are tendered, and all prospects with a chance at the majors in 2025 actually make it — which is to say, the best-case scenario as it now exists,

Read ’em and weep:
C Korey Lee, Edgar Quero
1B Andrew Vaughn, Gavin Sheets
2B Lenyn Sosa, Nicky Lopez
3B Bryan Ramos, Miguel Vargas
SS Colson Montgomery, Jacob Amaya
LF Andrew Benintendi, Vargas
CF Luis Robert Jr., Dominic Fletcher
RF Fletcher, Oscar Colás
DH Sheets, Zach DeLoach

Apologies for ruining your day.