My partner gets secret ‘happy ending’ massages – I want to stay with him but people warn he’ll never truly change
A HEARTBROKEN woman found out her partner was secretly paying for sensual massages that included ‘happy endings’ with sex workers.
Feeling torn over the decision of whether or not to stay in the relationship, she turned to outsiders for advice.
She penned a lengthy post on Reddit revealing that her partner of three years had been cheating on her for over two years.
The woman was devastated to find out he had been receiving “happy endings” during sensual massages behind her back.
In a Reddit group called Surviving Infidelity she wrote: “My partner of three years cheated with sensual massages from year two and onwards.
“He [has] got a high paying stressful job, no excuse I know. She admits
“He vows to never cheat again and is in therapy.
“Can anyone share their experience?
“I haven’t made up my mind yet. It’s really rough and I’m just trying to find myself.”
Responses to the Reddit post advised the woman that it would be it’s “highly unlikely” that her partner would change his ways and that she would only end up “policing him forever.”
One person who had admitted to experiencing a similar betrayal wrote: “As hard as it is, leave. I have had a relationship like this.
“I found out my ex went to at least three sex workers.
“I tried to work it out, tried to give him a chance.
“It was a terrible time and I was naive enough to think that my effort and love and time will help us to get back being us.
“I thought he tried, I thought he was really sorry and will get better.
“It didn’t work out,” she admits.
“He cooled down for a period, but it’s just a matter of time until the relapsing, lying and cheating begins again.”
The forthright Reddit user went on to point out the risks involved, including the risks posed to her sexual health if she decided to return to her partner if he hadn’t yet resolved his commitment issues.
“[You] might get you a [sexually transmitted] disease.
“Don’t do it. I think it’s highly unlikely he’ll really change.
“You will be policing forever, checking his phone, being unsecure when you don’t know where he is.
“Therapy is a good start for him – but it just won’t work instantly.
Reddit user
“Avoid the future pain. Don’t be the same idiot I was.
“Best of luck and sorry. It’ll get easier once the heavy lift is gone.
“Therapy is a good start for him – but it just won’t work instantly.
“There is no switch in therapy, he really has to be in for the treatment, not just to shut you down.”
Another commenter who admitted to being a sex worker said: “Send him on his way. Move on.
“There are good men out there that aren’t addicted to sex and don’t cheat.”
A third jumped on to question why the heartbroken woman would attempt to contextualise or excuse his betrayal.
He said: “I am underpaid and have a stressful job and I’ve never felt the need to cheat, nor felt the need to blame cheating on job stress.
“And I’m sure being underpaid at a stressful job is way more stressful.
“I’m not a cheater. The point is, job stress isn’t a reason.”
A fourth hit back at the unforgiving commenters saying: “If you love him and he loves you and you think he is genuinely remorseful and wants to change then let him, work it out.
“You both lose if you leave him just to punish him.
“Your choice of course, but relationships are far more complex and nuanced than most in here seem to realise.”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.