I found explicit messages from my younger sister on my HUSBAND’S phone – his work habit should’ve made me twig
WHAT’S worse than finding out you’re being cheated on?
For one woman, it was learning who her husband had been unfaithful to her with, and discovering it was someone she knew VERY well.
In a post on Reddit, she explained that she had picked up on some red flags from her husband which made her think something was going on.
As well as being “unusually secretive with his phone”, and seeming “increasingly distant and emotionally unavailable”, he had a “drastic change in work hours”.
“I should have noticed these signs earlier, but I was blindsided by how quickly things escalated,” she added.
“My husband had been expressing dissatisfaction and feeling distant, but I never imagined it would lead to this.”
In the end, she checked his phone, and discovered explicit messages and photos from her younger sister on there – before learning that the affair had been going on for over a year.
And what made things even worse was how close she was with her sister.
“We shared everything, from personal secrets to major life decisions,” she said.
When she confronted her husband, he admitted he’d cheated on her, and claimed he “felt neglected and thought the affair was an escape from his dissatisfaction”.
He also labelled it a “momentary lapse in judgment”, but she insisted his excuses sounded “hollow and insincere”.
“How can I believe that this was just a lapse in judgment when he actively chose to betray me over such a long period?” she mused.
Her sister also apologised, but said that she was just having “fun” with him, and claiming it only happened “two or 3 times”.
“Honestly, this makes me even angrier,” she continued.
“Three times only? Come on, who believes that? If it had been just once, I still couldn’t have forgiven them.
“The fact that she’s trying to downplay it as a ‘fun’ fling only adds insult to injury.
“How could she think it was acceptable to get involved with my husband?
“And how could they both trivialise such a serious betrayal?”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
Since she discovered the affair, her sister has moved out of town to give her “space”, but she said: “I will definitely be leaving my husband because he doesn’t deserve my trust or commitment anymore”.
“I also won’t be seeing my sister for a long time, if ever,” she added.
“I’m considering cutting off my sister for the foreseeable future.
“Should I even consider forgiving her, or is there no coming back from this betrayal?”
People in the comments were quick to weigh in on the post, with one writing: “Why even consider forgiving your sister?
“She betrayed you in the worst way possible. Her excuses are crap!”
“If it was just for fun, why did it have to be with him?” another questioned.
“There are plenty people out there to have fun with.
“Saying it wasn’t serious and just for fun is sociopathic, like she doesn’t get why it’s a big deal.”
“Rule number one: NEVER SLEEP WITH YOUR RELATIVE’S PARTNER! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT’S A SIBLING!” a third raged.
“It’s not that hard! There is no excuse for it! I don’t care if your sibling is the meanest person ever.
“Cheating of any kind is just selfish. Cheating on your spouse is one thing.
“Cheating on them with a sibling/ best friend makes you ten times more of a jack**s.”