I’m in new relationship but I can’t climax during sex – I feel so guilty
DEAR DEIDRE: DESPITE being in a wonderful new relationship, no matter what I do, I can’t climax during sex.
The only time I can ever reach orgasm is when I pleasure myself.
I’m a 53-year-old divorced man. I had previously been married for 20 years.
I was single for a while after my divorce, then I met my new partner, who is 45, a year ago.
I love her and I can manage to get and maintain an erection.
But, regardless of what I try, I cannot climax when we make love.
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She is understanding, but I worry that it’s going to spoil things between us.
I feel so guilty that she can’t satisfy me. She says she doesn’t mind, but I can’t help but think it’s getting her down.
DEIDRE SAYS: There could be a number of reasons for this.
Some men do lose their ability to climax as they get older. Or it could be the anxiety of sleeping with your girlfriend after a few years of being single and you want this relationship to work.
Sex starts in your head, so the more you worry about this, the more likely it is to keep happening.
Try to take the pressure off achieving orgasm for now and concentrate on kissing and caressing.
With less focus on climaxing, over time you may find that it gets easier.
My support pack, Man Who Can’t Climax, has some useful steps you can follow.