Dark side of growing up on a reality show from drugs to death threats…& why ‘courageous’ Ferne McCann is right to quit
She’s one of the most famous faces from British television, ever since first appearing on TOWIE more than a decade ago.
But despite reality TV being the reason we know her so well, Ferne McCann has shared she’ll be quitting her own show, My Family & Me, to protect her daughters from the same exposure and scrutiny.
In a post made to Instagram, the star said: “I made this decision with my children in mind. They are my absolute priority and Sunday is now at an age where she is very much her own little person and I want her to go out there and take her own path.”
They regularly shared intimate details about their family life, but have packed up the series to give their children space to “grow up away from cameras”.
This Morning star Emma Kenny, a leading psychologist, told The Sun that Ferne’s decision was both a “courageous” and “psychologically sound” move.
She said: “When children grow up in the public eye, they’re constantly scrutinised and judged, not just by their peers but by the world at large.
“Ferne is giving her daughters the invaluable gift of a childhood free from the pressure to perform, allowing them to develop a sense of self outside of public perception.
“It ensures they have a chance to grow up feeling secure, loved and valued for who they truly are, not just for the persona they could project on a screen.”
Fat-shamed at puberty
Numerous child stars from reality TV shows have also opened up about the damaging impact having a camera track their every move had on their lives.
Maddy Zeigler – now aged 21 – was the star performer in the long running US reality show Dance Moms, which followed the ups and downs of teenagers who were part of notorious teacher Abby Lee Miller’s dance school.
Speaking to Cosmopolitan, the dancer revealed that the show was having such a negative impact she tried to leave the last three seasons – but was unable to because of her contract.
She also admitted that despite the show propelling her to fame, when asked if she’d ever watched the series as an adult, she replied “never”.
She said: “I did watch a little bit of an episode from the very beginning to show my boyfriend because I was like, ‘You cannot watch this, but I’ll show you what I looked like.’ And we both were like, ‘This is sad. We need to turn this off.’
First appearing on the show aged eight, fans watched her grow up through her teen years, which she struggled with.
“I literally hit puberty in front of everyone on TV, and that’s a super-weird thing,” the child star said.
“I started developing boobs and I got my period and my body started changing, and people were like, “Oh, she’s gaining weight. She’s getting fat.” And I’m like, Whoa! I’m literally becoming more of a woman!”
Drugs and alcohol on TV
Kelly Osbourne – the daughter of Ozzy and Sharon – also spoke up about the impact appearing on TV had on her.
The Osbournes, which aired on MTV from 2002 to 2005, is often credited with paving the way for later shows such as Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
But Kelly later revealed being famous as a child was damaging.
“It’s all fine when people you know have an opinion of you but when the world has an opinion that you can’t control and it’s not really who you are, it can really mess with you,’ she said.
“I know that it led me down a dark path and I’m lucky because I have family and friends and support, and access to therapy and whatever I need.”
We were called ‘dirty little sl*ts’.
Kylie Jenner
Ozzy Osbourne also claimed the reality show contributed to the families addiction issues.
Speaking to The Sun, the rocker admitted: “When you’ve got a camera crew living in your house 24 hours a day seven days a week it gets a bit crazy.
“The kids were doing drugs and alcohol and I’d gone back on the booze.”
Death threats
In 2006, Shane Keough and his family featured in the very first ever episode of the now-legendary show The Real Housewives of Orange County, set in California.
Aged just 18, an incident on a baseball field was edited to make it appear as if he violently swore at his mum for no reason.
“I got death threats,” Shane told the Guardian, adding that he still receives abuse all these years later if he posts about his mother on social media.
Due to the pressure the incident put on their family, they ended up quitting the show.
Even the Kardashians – despite their fame – have not had an easy ride.
In an episode of the show, Kylie Jenner revealed that aged just 16, members of the paparazzi asked if she and her sister Kendall were “whored like their sister”.
They also claim they were called “dirty little sl*ts”.
Katie and Peter’s disagreement
Despite the potential benefits of fame, Ferne is not alone in having concerns over the effect a lack of privacy could have on her children’s lives.
British-Aussie music legend Peter Andre suggested he wasn’t happy with his ex-wife Katie Price putting their children Princess and Junior, now 17 and 19, in the spotlight when they were younger.
In 2016, he told Now magazine: “I want mine to stay kids for now and they can decide what they want when they’re older.”
At the time, Peter went on to reveal he’s “not a big fan” of his children being anywhere near social media – despite the fact Katie had set up Instagram accounts for them both.
I want mine to stay kids for now and they can decide what they want when they’re older.
Peter Andre
He also recently opened up about concerns he’s had when it comes to sharing his youngest daughter’s face online, citing AI and potential misuse as major worries.
In a column for OK! magazine, the 51 year old said: “I can’t believe how grown up she is now. Like Millie and Theo, it’s unlikely Emily and I will show her face on social media.
“AI, for example, can be a scary thing in regard to stealing children’s identity and we don’t know enough about how these images can be used in future.”
So far, the singer has only shared glimpses of his daughter, called Arabella, showing a distinctive triangle shape of hair on the back of her head.
Reality TV salaries revealed
Towie:
Cast members are put into four pay bands based on their popularity.
Reality veterans Bobby Norris, James ‘Diags’ Bennewith, Georgia Kousoulou, and Chloe Sims were in the top tier, which meant they commanded £450 an episode.
Others were paid £350, £250 or £90 if they were a newcomer trying to prove their worth.
Geordie Shore:
The MTV show reportedly paid cast members £1,000-a-month for their wild antics in the early days of the show.
Veteran Sophie Kasaei revealed the cast had to work other jobs to supplement their income.
She said: “When we first started the show we got absolutely nothing.
“The most we ever got was £1000 a month and we couldn’t survive on that, obviously after tax as well.
“Most of us worked at the call centre because in Newcastle there’s a lot of call centres because we can sell you the dream, we’re very friendly and warm and trustworthy.
Gogglebox:
Each household is paid the same monthly allowance of £1,500.
A show insider revealed the fee is then split amongst contributors at their own discretion.
They also get to tuck into a free takeaway of their choice twice a week to keep them fuelled during long filming sessions.
The armchair critics have to watch 12 hours of telly a week in total – which is divided into two six-hour stints.
I’m A Celebrity:
The jungle show is a jewel in ITV’s crown with a bumper budget to boot. Payments are tailored to the individual, with the greater their fame or controversy factor, the bigger the cheque.
Nigel Farage reportedly bagged £1.5m for the last series – the most in its history.
While eventual series winner Sam Thompson was a snip at £80,000. This Morning’s Josie Gibson is said to have pocketed £100k while Britney’s sister Jamie Lynn received an impressive £250k.
He continued: “This didn’t even seem possible when my older two were young. It seems that the last two or three years has taken AI to a different level and not always in a good way.
“That aside, Emily has always made it clear she doesn’t want their faces shown and I respect that. I just get excited and want to show everyone how cute they are.”
Internet predators
Beyond these individual cases, the impact of starring on a reality show can be brutal, says Emma.
Speaking further about the potential negative impact, she said: “Beyond the psychological stress of growing up in front of a camera, children may miss out on the essential, everyday experiences of a normal childhood.
“There’s also a risk of children becoming disconnected from their own desires and feelings as they become increasingly focused on fulfilling the expectations of a viewing audience,” she added.
Professor of psychology at the Open University John Oates also spoke to The Sun about the toll participating can have on kids’ minds.
One of the more insidious dangers comes from the way predators can misuse images of children that are shared online.
Emma Kenny
As a member of the British Psychological Society’s Media Ethics Advisory Group, he’s one of the UK’s top experts on the topic.
He said: “In the short term, it can add to the disempowerment of children because they may feel they’re participating in something that – deep down – they don’t feel they want to be in.
“That in term can lead to a loss of self-esteem, not feeling good about oneself. It can lead to anxiety and distress.
He also highlighted the issues surrounding the fact that once the material exists out there on the Internet, it can be unpredictable what happens next, warning that it comes with “risks children are not easily prepared for.”
“A child might participate at the age of five. But by the time they get to 14, when the material is still out there, they may feel embarrassed, stigmatized – and maybe exploited as well, “ he added.
Emma also made sure to remind of the additional dangers inherent to images and info being spread around the internet, even if the child seems happy.
She said: “One of the more insidious dangers comes from the way predators can misuse images of children that are shared online.
“While most parents intend to showcase the joy and milestones in their child’s life, these images can be repurposed by individuals with malicious intent.
“This exploitation can have long lasting and devastating effects on the child, violating their privacy and potentially exposing them to harm.”