I’m expecting baby number six but my partner is insisting I have a termination
DEAR DEIDRE: HAPPINESS is being at home with my family and now I’m expecting baby number six but my partner is insisting I have a termination.
We have been together for 20 years and my oldest child is 13 and my youngest, two.
This sixth baby was unplanned but I was happy. I love babies.
I planned a lovely meal with my partner when the kids were all in bed or in their rooms.
His reaction was far from what I expected.
He said we were barely scraping by and demanded, “What on earth were you thinking? Another baby would never be a good idea”.
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He’s given me an ultimatum, him or the baby. I’m devastated.
I’ve talked to his mum who I’m close to but she’s recommending I choose my partner to keep our family together.
I love him to bits. I’m 39 and he’s 41.
He’s a hard-working, family man and I can’t bear to think of life without him and bringing this child and our kids up alone. I’m a stay-at-home mum so I can’t help the family financially.
I don’t know what to do.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry you’re in this situation and having to make this painful decision but he mustn’t put the blame solely on you.
The right decision for your family is not one that anybody else can make except for you and your partner.
There’s no compromise to be had, except a lot of talking.
You can’t wait too long but you can wait for the dust to settle then tell him you need to talk it all through again.
Compile a list of pros and cons and see whether one list outweighs the other.
If you can’t reach the same decision then you will need external help.
The Pregnancy Advice charity (pregnancyadvice.org.uk, 01480 457 711) offers counselling and non-judgmental advice to help you decide where you go from here.