I love my husband of 10 years but can’t stop cheating with my colleague – the sex keeps getting better, it’s addictive
A WOMAN has revealed that she is cheating on her husband with her colleague and finds it ‘addictive’.
The woman explained that she, 31, has been married to her husband, also 31, for ten years.
But she recognised that whilst they are ‘compatible’, their sex life is pretty stagnant.
As a result, she slept with a coworker, who she now finds herself having sex with on a regular basis.
Eager to share her confession, the woman took to Reddit, opening up about the situation on the r/relationship_advice thread.
Posting under the username @ThrowRA_4333, the woman titled her post ‘I love my husband, but I can’t stop cheating.’
She claimed: “We are perfectly compatible and we love each other. We get along super well, rarely fight, and genuinely enjoy each other’s company.
“It’s pretty perfect….except in the sex department. Sex has never been a very important part of our relationship, even early on.
“And honestly… the sex has always been pretty terrible.”
The social media user stressed that whilst she and her man are both ‘shy’ in the bedroom, their sex life has become increasingly worse as a result of their busy lifestyles.
She added: “Neither of us were very experienced when we got married, and everything else was so good we didn’t spend much time developing that part of our relationship.
“We are both pretty shy in that department so communication was never great.
“As we have both become increasingly busy with our careers, it has become even worse.
“Somehow two years have gone by without us having any sex. It’s really bothered me and we have actually had many conversations about it, but my husband says he’s just not interested.
“He just can’t bring himself to do it. He swears he’s in love with me, not gay (I asked), and not interested in someone else (also asked), but he just has no interest in sex.
“Again – I cannot stress this enough – no problems elsewhere, and besides this we get along great.
“I genuinely love him, and he says the same about me. But it is more like living with a BFF/roommate/sibling than a romantic partner at this point.”
I had no idea sex could be this fun, liberating, empowering, addictive
Reddit poster
But the woman confessed that as a result of her dormant sex life with her husband, she ended up cheating with a colleague.
She continued: “Six months ago I slept with a coworker. We had developed this undeniable physical attraction.
“And…it just kept happening. And it’s AMAZING.
“I had no idea sex could be this fun, liberating, empowering, addictive. It’s incredible.
I’m bracing myself for the inevitable comments and messages telling me I’m a terrible person
Reddit poster
“He’s an amazing partner and even after six months the sex is still getting better.
“Besides the physical/sexual attraction, I truly don’t have any romantic feelings for him.”
The Reddit user explained that she understands people will judge her for her confession, but she is keen to receive advice on what to do.
She concluded: “I’m bracing myself for the inevitable comments and messages telling me I’m a terrible person. I get it.
“I’m just hoping comments and insights will help me realise what I want, what I can do to figure this out, and how I can get the same sexual enjoyment from my husband (or learn to live without it??).”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
REDDIT USERS REACT
Reddit users were left gobsmacked by the woman’s confession and raced to the comments to share their thoughts – with many suggesting she file for divorce.
One person said: “Just get a divorce already.”
Divorce him and never date another person again if you can’t be loyal
Reddit user
Another added: “If the roles were switched you would be freaking out.
“Do your man a favour and leave him. You don’t “love” him- you’re comfortable with him.”
A third commented: “STOP cheating on him, today. Suggest an open relationship. Go to marriage counselling.
“Perhaps see a doctor so he can find out if there’s a reason for his lack of sex drive.
“If none of those work, you need to tell him you have to have sex as a part of your life… If there is no compromise, get a divorce.
“He deserves someone who isn’t constantly cheating on him.”
Whilst someone else advised: “Divorce him and never date another person again if you can’t be loyal.”