Miss Manners: Years later, I’m wondering what I could have said to this uncalled-for remark
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Years ago, in my early college days, my friend and I were enjoying lounging by the pool on vacation. We are both female.
Two college-aged men passed by and noticed us. One of them commented in my direction, “Well, that one’s cute,” before continuing on.
In the moment, I didn’t know what to do or say, except to look at my friend in astonishment. Nothing more was ever said of the incident.
But I have wondered, in the years since, what would have been a witty and appropriate retort?
The young man’s comment was out of line, and my silence felt somehow acquiescent. I’m curious to know your thoughts.
GENTLE READER: The word “ick” comes to Miss Manners’ mind: a seemingly unintentional sound that expresses disgust — much like if one saw excrement or a dead rodent on the ground.
If silence felt complicit, this sound would have conveyed that you found the comment neither flattering nor cute.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m lucky enough to work at a place where everyone generally gets along very well.
We have one newer person who is nice, but has one annoying quirk: She randomly inserts baby talk into the conversation.
For example, instead of saying, “I’m sorry you’ve had a rough day,” it’s “Awww, I sowwy you had a wuff day,” accompanied by a pouty lip.
I’d like suggestions on how to deter the baby talk, especially since I can tell she’s really trying to fit in with the people who have been here for years.
GENTLE READER: “Haha, do you have a child at home? I know it is hard to stop talking like that when you have a baby.”
If this is said kindly, Miss Manners hopes that your co-worker will take the feedback: that this is not how one speaks — and pouts — in a professional setting.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband is the assistant manager at a restaurant, and I am a stay-at-home mom for medical reasons. We get no government assistance.
About 17 years ago, my parents bought us a condo. Last year, they sold the condo and got us a house. It will be my inheritance.
With the housing market the way it is, neighbors comment on the current mortgage rates and say we were “lucky to get in before they skyrocketed.” No one has outright asked us how we can afford the house on the salary of an assistant manager at a restaurant, and I feel that it’s none of their business that my parents are the actual owners.
How do I address comments about housing prices?
GENTLE READER: Nod and smile. As you said, it is no one’s business.
Miss Manners suggests that if you must, you may indulge in a short, general conversation about the economy and mortgage rates, and then change the subject. But probably not to estate and inheritance taxes.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.