Riot Fest 2024: Inaugural RiotLand is a world of 'random silliness' ruled by John Stamos

At this year’s Riot Fest, the brand-new Riot Land is a cute — albeit small — territory of quirkiness and fun.

And John Stamos is its king.

Towering above the park in the area near the Ferris wheel is a life-sized butter sculpture of the actor, which the fest is promoting as the “world’s largest.” For years, organizers have been begging Stamos to perform with his fictional, “Full House” band, Jesse and the Rippers.

Stamos, who has repeatedly declined, expressed his mock disdain in a comment on the Riot Fest Instagram account.

“I’ve had some nice accolades and acknowledgments over the years, and this ain’t one of them!” he wrote. “I wish this CRAPFEST they call RIOTFARTS — would just melt away like the stale cube of butter that they are!”

It’s all in good fun, much like the rest of the RiotLand immersive experience. Visitors can preview the area via an animated, interactive map on the Riot Fest app. And they can enter beneath a sign instructing them to "choose your own adventure."

Attendees can purchase snacks and Riot Pop Seltzer in the full-scale replica of the “Quick Stop Groceries” store seen in the movie “Clerks.” They can check out festival memorabilia in the Riot Fest Historical Society building designed to resemble Fireside Bowl in Logan Square. And they can catch a live wrestling match courtesy of Billy Corgan’s NWA Wrestling.

In other words, it’s a bunch of “random silliness,” according to attendee Melanie Brooks, who traveled to the fest from Detroit.

Not so random or silly, Brooks and her partner, Jason Miller, said they plan to get married Saturday in the wedding chapel, also located in RiotLand. A staple of the festival, the venue has been upgraded from a gazebo to a building with colorful, faux stained glass windows featuring the Riot Fest devil mascot and other designs.

“I’ve always loved music and there are so many different genres of music and a bunch of bands that I’ve never heard [at the fest],” said Brooks, who is 42. “There’s no drama. It’s just all love. It’s like Woodstock but punk rock.”

RiotLand visitors have plenty of selfie stations besides the Stamos statue. They can take pictures in front of a Joliet Correctional Facility bus — à la "Blues Brothers" — or in front of a row of giant white block letters spelling out "RiotLand" in homage to the iconic Hollywood sign.

Other entertainment includes a skate ramp, the Hellzapoppin Circus Slideshow Revue, the Logan Arcade and Strip-o-rama Burlesque. Food and beverage pop-ups include offerings from the Publican restaurant and Riot Pop!

There are plenty of impressive artifacts inside the Riot Fest Historical Society building, which was curated with the Punk Rock Museum in Las Vegas. Visitors can view old costumes, posters and copies of the "Slash" punk rock fanzine. They can also pose with and play a bass belonging to NOFX's Fat Mike and a guitar that Chris Shiflett played in Me First and the Gimme Gimmes. A corn dog from the first-annual Riot Fest is also on display.

“Some say anyone who eats it will receive everlasting life," according to the caption.

Riot Fest attendee Eric Chavira said he especially enjoyed the installation because he has been wanting to visit the Punk Rock Museum.

Having attended each Riot Fest except two, Chavira said he was glad the event remained in Douglass Park instead of moving to Bridgeview’s SeatGeek Stadium.

"I love that it’s so close to me," said Chavira, 37, who lives in McKinley Park. "It would have been annoying for me, but I still would have come.”

A carpenter who also works near Douglass Park, Chavira said he hasn't heard much criticism about the festival.

“Everyone that I’ve talked to, no one has had complaints about Riot Fest being here," he said. "The only complaints I’ve ever heard are from the people immediately across the street. That community has built up a narrative that not everyone is really backing, but no one else really cares to speak up."

R.J. O'Malley, of Bridgeport, said he "hated" the idea of Riot Fest moving to Bridgeview.

"I do not want to be in a parking lot," said O'Malley, 39, a longtime Riot Fest attendee who likes to bike to the fest. "I want to be on grass, not baking on asphalt.”

If the fest had moved, he said he would have only attended on Friday to see Fall Out Boy.

As for RiotLand, he said was impressed by the Stamos sculpture, and would love to see the actor actually show up one year.

“That would be the dream," he said.