Mark Zuckerberg told his daughter she can't be Taylor Swift. A therapist said it's a great lesson for parents.
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- In a recent interview, Mark Zuckerberg said his 7-year-old daughter aspired to be like Taylor Swift.
- He told her that wasn't "available" to her, encouraging her to be herself.
- A therapist said it's a good lesson for parents as more kids aspire to be famous.
Between her vulnerable songs and stadium shows that somehow still feel intimate, Taylor Swift has captured the hearts of so many around the world — not least young girls.
That includes Mark Zuckerberg's 7-year-old daughter, August Chan Zuckerberg.
In a recent interview for the podcast "Acquired," Zuckerberg recounted taking August to a Taylor Swift concert. She told him she wanted to be like Swift when she grew up.
But he wanted her to rethink her dreams.
"I was like, 'But you can't. That's not available to you,'" Zuckerberg told hosts Ben Gilbert and David Rosenthal. "And she thought about it and she's like, 'Alright when I grow up I want people to want to be like August Chan Zuckerberg, and I was like, 'Hell yeah. Hell yeah.'"
Annie Wright, a therapist in Maine, has worked with affluent parents who, like Zuckerberg, "grapple with how to give their children opportunities without inflating their sense of entitlement," she told Business Insider.
"His advice to his daughter to aspire to be herself, not Taylor Swift or some other icon, I do think it's an important reminder for all parents," Wright said.
More kids want to be celebrities and influencers
Among her clients, Wright said that parents struggle with Gen Zers (ages 12-27) and Gen Alphas (1-11) increasingly wanting to be influencers.
She advises parents to "help their kids develop a strong sense of self-worth and individuality" rather than encourage them to chase popularity.
"Parents who model authenticity in their own lives really send a powerful message by demonstrating that self-worth comes from being genuine and true to one's values," she said. Zuckerberg's lesson to his daughter is that it's more exciting to be herself than to imitate a celebrity.
Growing up with wealth can add extra pressure
Wright acknowledged that Zuckerberg, a billionaire, represents the far end of the wealth spectrum. But in any family where kids have material advantages, she said they can "feel immense pressure to succeed, especially if they come from high-achieving families." They might feel compelled to do something just as big in their lives, like being famous.
"Success can become the primary measure of their self-worth, which makes failure harder to cope with," she said. "They feel the weight of living under their parents' success or their family legacy, which can lead to a lot of feelings of inadequacy."
Wright said it's good for parents to de-emphasize goals like fame by having open conversations about the downsides, such as the pressures to conform or the lack of privacy.
To help your child shoot for the stars, build confidence in small ways
Zuckerberg's recent interview isn't the first time he's hinted at his efforts to raise unspoiled kids.
In a previous interview with CBS's Gayle King, Zuckerberg said he gives his kids chores such as loading the dishwasher.
Wright said assigning chores is one of the best ways to teach kids important life skills, especially if they grow up in wealthy households.
"Chores create an understanding that rewards come from effort, not entitlement," she said, adding that kids who are encouraged to challenge themselves "are more successful and emotionally balanced in adulthood."
It's an especially important lesson for success. "Delayed gratification is a part of life for most things, and it sets them up for more reasonable expectations versus consistent disappointment," Wright said.
Learning to stick to the task at hand — even when they don't want to — helps kids stay grounded and determined, no matter who they want to be when they grow up.