Invasive Species
Burmese pythons are voracious eaters. Our favorite little frightened animals are immediately fleeing upon the mere mention of their name. Run rabbit, run! Say goodbye to Thumper, Rocky Raccoon, and lots of Mickey Mouses, because they’re all vanishing.
The social fabric of the South differs from other regions of the country. The allure, beauty, and cuisine—are all components of a simple lifestyle, characterize Southern charm. However, if you’re looking for strange, Florida’s got you covered. Various degrees of life and death in the state are dependent upon its natural environment. And that’s where a dangerous, hidden predator lurks. This past August, the annual Florida Python Challenge was open to everyone, offering 857 contestants modest prize winnings to capture these creatures in various locations.
Take the case of one weatherworn Sonny Suncloud, who may have seen better days as a small town, barrel-chested Elvis impersonator. His head swayed back and forth to “Reach Out in the Darkness” a 1968 hit by Friend and Lover. With careless Cousin Dwight onboard, Sonny moved about in his GMC Sierra 2500 at a traffic stop.
While waiting for a green light, Sonny scored a triple play. In 59 seconds flat, he scarfed down a large bag of McDonald’s fries, swigged a can of Mountain Dew and rummaged through a Weathertech beverage carrier searching for napkins. Wiping his beefy, beaded brow, sweatin’ it out like a sinner in church, Sonny needed a moment to gather his thoughts before stopping at a rest stop to refuel.
The Sunshine State has an epidemic; negligent pet owners underestimated the danger of snake abandonment releases. The invasion is an ecological wildlife disaster. To address the issue, the state employs a unique approach; they hire licensed bounty hunters to cull the unwanted species. If you’re an adrenaline junkie who enjoys being shredded to pieces, slogging through overgrown briars, often under the cover of darkness through thorns, vines, and razor-sharp sawgrass for environmental preservation, or just a run-of-the-mill thrill seeker, you’re in luck. Depending on availability, you can even book a guided tour. Take the family.
These excursions aren’t for the faint of heart. There are hunting groups in snake world; both Python Cowboys and Python Huntresses with college girls, work hard to ensure a memorable experience. A stealth trapper will scour through dense, marsh scrub headfirst.
You don’t need an A in biology to figure this one out. The sheer length of a python is astounding—they can reach up to 20 feet. There’s no reliable survey, but some population estimates are upwards to 100,000, humans are their only enemies. One theory Floridians maintain is Hurricane Andrew wiped out a reptile breeding facility in 1992, and the runaways flourished.
The vastness of the Everglades makes it unsuitable for a casual stroll. America’s tropical savannah consists of low-lying wetlands. The diverse ecosystem plays by its own set of rules. Here you have thick as a blizzard, swarming insects. A laundry list of other dangers include alligators, crocodiles, fire ants, feral hogs and deadly bees. Notorious Florida is the perfect environment for invasive species, especially human beings, spring breakers for example.
Hemingway enjoyed shirtless summer days in Key West during the early-1930s. He possessed a certain awareness of the sea. Leaning back, reflecting on marlin fishing, his eyes closed while inhaling the salty air. Pelicans and laughing gulls soared above against an electrifying blue sky dotted with white clouds. No one considered Hemingway invasive.
Before Florida’s 9.7 million commercial agriculture acres were developed, pioneers worked hard to survive. Farmers found success in Sarasota’s rural muckland growing celery in the 1940s. During the 1950s, Greek fishermen in Diver Dan helmets harvested natural sea sponges at Tarpon Springs.
It’s impossible to resist elaborating— can you imagine what a snake hunt is like? Middle of August. The humidity’s brain-stifling. Swamp waters around you. Searching for signs of movement requires patience. Fatigue sets in after walking for hours. Skin sheds suggest the presence of camouflaged serpents. There’s a faint rustle of moving foliage. Tension builds.
Catching snakes by hand is tough. A degree of skill, strategy, persistence, and being able to read reptile behavior is crucial. Witness a fight when you grab a snake by the head. Pythons will wrap themselves around you in circles. An all-muscle beast will twist and turn, and violently try to bite as much as possible. To make matters worse in the intense struggle, it sprays foul smelling musk. Unfazed, their vise-grip squeeze tightens. Gasping for breath, airways are obstructed. Fainting may prove fatal. Too late, the victim is swallowed whole, headfirst.
Unfortunately, that’s not happening here, because these snakes don’t eat people, although an unlucky woman was consumed recently in Indonesia. This live captured animal’s fate is sealed, humanly euthanized on site. Not a hunting event for the weak. Poor snakes.
Standing by the gas pump island, Sonny’s left palm itched. That works as his personal financial advisor with a reminder: don’t forget to grab a “Fast Loot” scratch-off. The truck door swung open. Dwight was still asleep after a night out with Jack Daniels.
Sonny kicked Dwight’s leg. “Up and at ’em!” he snapped. Dwight, still hungover in yesterday’s clothes reeked of booze cologne. “Hell yeah!” he croaked with a wink. Sonny sighed, took a deep breath and spoke in a drawl, “Well fo’ Lawd’s sake! Ya’ll be a drinker. I don’t touch it myself. C’mon now, git it together.”
Before they left the gas station, Sonny cashed a $50 scratch-off winner. The GMC roared down a street lined with swaying palm trees and lavish lawn ornaments. Off to the land of state-sponsored python paydays, headed towards the Everglades’ sawgrass prairies, “Reach Out in the Darkness” faded away.
An unknown journey was just beginning. Dwight eventually saddled-up and promised to use caution. That’s key to understanding, considering the Everglades can be unpredictable. Facing trouble, a hunter in pursuit must be ready to take on prey in a showdown. Commander Sonny issued his sage warning. “Remember Dwight, snakes are like people; ya’ll can’t trust ’em.”