I tried to entice my husband to have sex with me but he had a million excuses including ‘my eyes hurt’ so I cheated
A WOMAN shared the action she took when her sex life became non-existent after years of marriage.
The unnamed wife explained that she had affairs with men she met online after her husband refused to sleep with her.
In her Reddit post, the user recounted some of the excuses her husband gave to avoid being intimate with her.
She explained that there is a 17 year age gap in her marriage, and that she has been with her partner for almost 30 years.
The woman, who had only slept with one man before settling down with her husband, explained that sex had been a “frequent bone of contention” in the marriage.
“He always had a low drive, and it ground to a halt six years ago,” she said.
“For the three years before it stoppage, we had sex about six times a year.
“I tried everything you can think of to entice him, and nothing worked.
“He always had a million excuses, including my personal favourite: ‘My eyes hurt.'”
After failed attempts at marriage counselling, the couple found themselves trapped in a rut.
The Reddit user recounted how she took advantage of her flexible work hours to pursue an extra marital affair.
“I put up an ad or profile and got pelted with responses,” she explained.
“I would sift through them, respond to some, chat for a few days, and if I was interested, we’d meet for coffee.”
If the meet-up went well, the woman said she would “test drive” the men before taking them to a nearby hotel.
“The thrill was incredible, I finally felt wanted for the first time in five to eight years, and then there was the tease and chase between meeting for coffee and meeting at a hotel,” she said.
Despite the excitement, the poster revealed that she viewed the men as her “buddies,” explaining that she “purposely picked men with a flaw of some type.”
This specification allowed her to filter out the men she could potentially “fall for.”
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
“I was so angry about being turned down by my husband so many times that it felt like I deserved this second life,” she explained.
“I was wanted, and that fed my ego.
“I had control over everything and it felt so good after always accepting someone else’s decisions that rarely leaned my way.”
Eventually, the Reddit user started to feel guilty about her actions, citing the effect it would have on her husband and the wives of the men she slept with.
Calling her affairs “pathetic,” she decided to call them off altogether.
“I never told my husband but I committed to being faithful to him and I sought therapy,” she said.
“We have begun doing things we used to do for foreplay but long enough to get me off.
“I’m more appreciative of him and the things he does for me and our son.”