I ended my engagement within 24 hours over a DM from a stranger – the discovery was unforgivable
WHEN Michelle Elman announced her engagement to her 270,000 Instagram followers, she was on cloud nine.
But her fairytale romance came crashing down in just half an hour, as the announcement sparked a gut-wrenching confession in the 31-year-old’s DMs.
Michelle’s ex-fiance had cheated on her with one of her followers.
And not only that, the other woman was a fan of the author who had read her four books and even spoken to her a few years prior.
“My world came crashing down in less than 24 hours,” Michelle says.
“I’ve never been able to tell the proposal story because it was one of the best days and it’s sad to not be able to look back on it and have that happiness now.
“It is so tinged with sadness.”
Michelle bravely told the story of her engagement – which happened on a Saturday in April in the countryside – on her podcast, In All Honesty.
She had temporarily left her home in London for quieter surroundings while writing a new book.
On the weekend of the proposal, she had friends visiting her in the countryside house she was staying in.
Michelle recalls having a feeling that something was off during the day of her proposal.
She’d had a breakout on her skin and was feeling “scared” while paddle boarding – a hobby she typically loves to do.
But when she saw her ex-beau on his knee, she said “it was like time slowed down”.
He told Michelle that she was the “centre of his universe” and that every day with her “was his favourite day” – all while knowing he had committed the ultimate betrayal behind her back.
The pair, who had also been trying for a baby, inititally agreed not to tell anyone their exciting news.
However, Michelle could barely contain her excitement and found herself spilling the detail to her friends as soon as she returned to the house.
Four red flags your partner is cheating
Private Investigator Aaron Bond from BondRees revealed four warning signs your partner might be cheating.
They start to take their phone everywhere with them
In close relationships, it’s normal to know each other’s passwords and use each other’s phones, if their phone habits change then they may be hiding something.
Aaron says: “If your partner starts changing their passwords, starts taking their phone everywhere with them, even around the house or they become defensive when you ask to use their phone it could be a sign of them not being faithful.”
“You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something.”
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
“If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don’t want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag.”
“Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it’s an easy way to get caught out,” says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner’s libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: “Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren’t there before.”
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
“To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven’t walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating,” warns Aaron.
The author-turned-influencer shared the news with her 270,000 Instagram followers the following morning.
Within half an hour of clicking ‘post’, her life flipped upside down.
Sat in front of the TV on what was a normal Sunday to everyone else, Michelle received a heartbreaking message.
One of her fans had identified her husband by his full name and sent screenshots of his profile on a popular dating app.
When Michelle confronted her new-fiance, he began to gaslight her by asking: “Why would you say yes to me if you would believe a stranger on the internet over me?”
He also told Michelle that she was “ruining their engagement weekend” as she begged him for an explanation about the damning messages.
I just remember breaking down. It sounded like an animal wailing through the house
Michelle Elman
Then, Michelle received another message from the other woman saying she’d slept with her fiance in November and had proof that he claimed to be single at the time.
He had booked a hotel to cheat on the day he arrived back in England from a holiday in Milan.
The booking confirmation of the hotel in his email was all the proof that Michelle needed to know it was true.
When he had nowhere to run, the cheat eventually admitted to being unfaithful.
It wasn’t just the one time, though.
He had also slept with another woman in Paris the month before their engagement.
And he was even messaging that second woman on the same day he took Michelle shopping for her engagement ring.
My world came crashing down in less than 24 hours. I’ve never been able to tell the proposal story because it was one of the best days and it’s sad to not be able to look back on it and have that happiness now
Michelle Elman
“In total, he’d cheated on me with three women,” Michelle says.
“Many more if you count all of the messages on dating apps, but he’d gone on dates and slept with three.
“He admitted to the third one by the end of the day.
“I just remember breaking down.
“One of my friends who was in the house at the time said there was this animalistic cry throughout the house and she was so scared by it that she didn’t come up to check what was happening.
“It sounded like an animal wailing through the house.”
I know that I am strong but I have never seen the strength in me that I have had for the last few months
Michelle Elman
The experience left Michelle sobbing and “feeling nauseous”, particularly after her ex-fiance left the countryside for a business trip shortly after his cruel confessions.
When she realised that her relationship was officially over, Michelle had no choice but to return to their home in London and soldier on.
She even went on a solo trip to cry out the heartbreak, which was originally booked as a trip she hoped to take while pregnant with her ex’s child.
“I have shocked myself,” Michelle adds.
“I know that I am strong but I have never seen the strength in me that I have had for the last few months.
“There’s something quite amazing about waking up each morning and being proud of yourself, and impressing yourself each day.”