I have 4 grandkids aged 9 to 8 months & I WON’T gifts – trolls say I’m hateful but I’m teaching them the value of money
A GRANDMOTHER who has four grandchildren has revealed how she has never bought her grandchildren presents.
Tammie Kelton, 50, told her grown-up children that when she became a grandmother, she wouldn’t buy the children gifts.
Tammie – who is grandmother to four grandchildren aged nine, six, three and eight months – said on their birthdays and holidays, the kids would already get stacks of gifts that she didn’t want to add to.
She shared her choice on social media – and was even told “you must hate your grandchildren” by trolls.
But she revealed instead of buying gifts they’ll throw away, lose or forget, she puts money in a savings account for each of them.
So while the grandchildren may not get anything now – when they reach adulthood, they will be gifted the sum of money, which she hopes will be in the region of $40k (£30.2k)
each.
Tammie said she wants to help them with their futures in a more long-term way and feels this is the best solution.
Tammie, a nurse practitioner, from Sidney, Ohio, US, said: “I set up their investment accounts the day each of them was born.
“The grandchildren have several family members who inundate them with gifts already.
“When they have loads of other people giving them gifts, they get lost and forgotten.
“But as adults they’ll remember – ‘this is what Grandma Mimi did to help me with the rest of my life’.”
Tammie explained she had been a “pregnant high school drop-out”, having her children aged 18 and 20.
She grew up herself in poverty, and raised her own children in poverty.
It wasn’t until 30 that she went to university and got a degree before forging a career in nursing – and now she makes a comfortable living.
But she said both she and her children remember what life was like when money had been tight.
She said: “I had a rough start and I was young so I couldn’t help my kids either.
Average kid's birthday cost for parents
According to a new study from the UK’s leading money-saving brand, Voucher Cloud, over two thirds of British parents throw their children a birthday party every single year - and the costs can be high.
- Average spend on party – £320.50
- Average spend on presents – £175.80
My children remember what it was like when our electric would get cut off.
“There were times I struggled to put food on the table.”
Tammie’s aim is now to “break the generational curse and give them generational wealth” because she and her children never had that.
While they may have a few less gifts to unwrap on their birthdays, she feels it’s important to set them up for their futures.
I want to help my grandchildren in a way I couldn’t help my children
Tammie Kelton, 50
Tammie said at present, her eldest grandchild has between $10k (£7.5k) and $15k (£11.3k) in their account already.
She added: “They know I love them – the time I spend with them shows them that, not the gifts.
“In the family everyone knows what I’m doing and they love it – they know it’ll give the grandchildren a great start in life.
“I want to help my grandchildren in a way I couldn’t help my children.”
How much do experts advise spending on a child’s birthday?
A study by major toy retailer TK Maxx revealed that one in three parents admit to spending less on presents for their own children and their children’s friends compared to five years ago.
Average Spend: Parents spend an average of £175 on birthday gifts for their kids, while presents for their children’s friends can cost up to £95 a year, adding extra strain on household finances.
Gifts and Parties: Children receive around 12 presents per birthday, and parents take their kids to an average of four birthday parties annually.
Top Five Gifts Parents Buy for Children:
Clothes: 49%
Books: 46%
Technology: 39%
Traditional Board Games: 38%
Remote Controlled Toys: 26%
Dolls: 25%
How Much Should You Spend on a Child’s Birthday?
Experts generally suggest keeping birthday spending reasonable and within the family’s budget. A common guideline is to spend around £10 to £20 per year of the child’s age. For example:
5-year-old: £50 to £100
Remember, the focus should be on creating memorable experiences rather than adhering strictly to a spending rule.
Simple, thoughtful, and creative celebrations can often be just as enjoyable and meaningful for the child.