I’m a relationship expert – here are the five red flags that you’re dating a catfish
THOUSANDS of singletons across the globe fall victim to catfish and scammers every year.
And with online dating becoming a more popular way for people to meet, it is riskier than ever to fall for a catfish.
When you’re looking for love, it can be heartbreaking to realise that the person you’ve been talking to isn’t who they say they are.
And new data has revealed that 40 per cent of us know someone who has been catfished, while 22 per cent have fallen for catfish themselves.
Luckily, one relationship expert is on hand to help keep singletons safe as they navigate the online dating world.
April Davis, founder and president of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, has shared five key ways you can catch a catfish.
You can’t find them anywhere else online
In this day and age, almost everyone has a social media presence – especially those who are willing to try dating apps.
So if you can’t find them anywhere online, like a Facebook, Instagram or even LinkedIn account, this could be a major red flag.
April says: “If you’re suspicious, ask to add them on Facebook or Instagram.
“If they refuse or the account they send you looks new, that’s a red flag.”
They make conversations personal very quickly
Catfish are well known for ‘love-bombing,’ which is a form of emotional manipulation.
This happens when someone uses excessive and extravagant expressions of love to try to manipulate another person.
So, if the person you’re talking to immediately goes over the top with compliments, wants to communicate all the time, and makes statements like ‘I love you’ within a few days of speaking, it’s a big red flag.
The experts explain: “Catfishes want you to feel special so that you’ll bond with them, and they want to do it quickly so that they can take what they want from you and move on.
“If they can convince you this is a whirlwind romance, they’ll have a better chance of scamming you because you’ll be more inclined to say yes when they ask you for things.”
They don’t open up
If someone is asking a lot of questions about you but is not willing to offer up much in return, this could be a catfish red flag.
This is because these scammers are, of course, not who they say they are and it can be hard for them to keep their lies straight.
As a result, most catfishes would rather not give out any personal info at all if they can help it.
April added: “Catfishes are looking to scam people with as little effort as possible, so they don’t want to go to the trouble of making up and maintaining a fake identity.
“If you insist on knowing personal details and your new conversation partner goes quiet, you might have just dodged a catfish.”
EXPERT ADVICE
APRIL Davis, founder of LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, shared her top pieces if advice for anyone who thinks they may be talking to a catfish.
“There are several ways to protect yourself from catfishes.
“First of all, never give out money, your bank information, or your credit card details to someone you haven’t met in person. Be wary with your personal information as well.
“Catfishes are usually scammers looking to either convince you to send them money, get access to your cards, or persuade you to give them enough personal details that they can commit identity fraud.
“I wouldn’t give out much beyond superficial information before you’ve met in person.
“Another thing to watch out for is their photos. Do they look Instagram-model perfect? Then the catfisher might have stolen them from an actual Instagram model.
“Screenshot or save their pictures and do a reverse Google image search to see if you can determine where the photo is actually from.
“Of course, one of the most significant catfish indicators is when they won’t video call.
“Some people are shy, yes, but when you’ve been talking for weeks, there’s no reason not to video call.
“If someone gets aggressive or ghosts you after you ask, or if they employ an excuse (‘my camera is broken’ is common, but someone I know was once told ‘I don’t have good enough internet because I work on an oil rig’!) then you should be very wary.”
They ask for money
Asking for money, no matter the reason, is a huge red flag.
Whether they want a bank transfer or your credit card number, catfishes have a wide range of sob stories to tell when it’s time to try to swindle you out of your cash.
April says: “Never give out any money or information to someone you’ve only met online, especially if you haven’t seen their face.”
They won’t show their face
Unsurprisingly, someone who doesn’t want to show who they are in a video call or real-time pictures could be a catfish.
The last thing a catfish wants is for you to see their real face because they usually steal pictures from someone else to use.
This means they are likely to refuse to send photos or do video calls.
April explains that the best way to check that someone is legitimate is to ask them to send a picture of themselves doing a specific pose or activity.
Especially an unusual one that would be hard to find photos of online.