Exactly what to say when your kid asks, 'Are we rich?'

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• If your kid asks whether your family is rich, first figure out why they want to know.
• The following conversation should depend on your child's age.
• Age-appropriate honesty is always recommended.

Kids are experts at putting their parents on the spot.

So when your little sleuth asks, "Are we rich?" there's a very simple answer for families anywhere on the economic spectrum:

"Why do you ask?"

This is New York Times personal finance columnist Ron Lieber's go-to answer for any money question from a child, according to his book "The Opposite Of Spoiled: Raising Kids Who Are Generous, Grounded, And Smart About Money."

The simple response does two things: It buys parents a minute to collect their thoughts instead of spitting out a reflexive "yes," "no," or "none of your business," and it gets to the root of why your child is asking in the first place. 

With "Are we rich?" in particular, Lieber writes that the question can lead to discussions on possessions, wealth, and what it actually means to be "rich."

He recommends asking open-ended questions to steer the conversation to the conclusion that we don't know much about our neighbors' money and that being rich isn't as important as having other qualities, like kindness and creativity.

Or, you can leave the more in-depth conversation for later. One mom and sociology professor whose story is recounted in "The Opposite of Spoiled" took a straightforward approach when her third-grade son asked if his family was rich. "It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do as a parent, but I looked him in the eye and said 'yes,'" she told Lieber. "And that was the end of it. You're supposed to wait for them to follow up and get into it, but that was it. He wanted to know, and I told him the truth."

"Sticking to the truth is good when it comes to money, but so is adapting your message to your kid's level," Beth Kobliner writes in her own book, "Make Your Kid a Money Genius (Even If You're Not): A Parents' Guide For Kids 3 to 23."

She continued in a 2017 interview with Business Insider: "If they say, 'Are we rich?' you want to say, 'Well, let's think about what that means. We have so much, we have a home, we have each other, we have a family ... that's kind of what they're asking to begin with, and giving kids context is so important," she said.

As they get older, she recommends getting more specific. Kobliner, who is a mom of three, says a good response would be to tell them what the average American family earns, and where your family stands in relation to that. It may be a lot more or a lot less, but she says there's "no need to give the number gratuitously," especially to elementary-aged kids.

"Think of why they're asking, and if it's a 7-year-old or 10-year-old, be prepared if you do tell them the number," she continued. "You're going to hear it at the PTA meeting. The teacher's going to be like, 'Ah I hear how much money you make.'"