It took me years to get pregnant but I was disappointed when I found out I was having a boy…it doesn’t make me a bad mum
A MOTHER has revealed that she struggled to get pregnant with her second child, and was left hugely disappointed when she did, and found out she was having a boy.
Char, a content creator and mum to two toddlers, explained that she felt “horrendous guilt” that she was unhappy with the gender, but confessed that this doesn’t make her a bad mum.
In fact, the mother took to social media to reveal that gender disappointment is much “more common than you think”.
Posting online, Char said: “I was so disappointed when I found out I was having a boy, I really thought I was destined to be a girl mum, and this is coming from a girl who suffered with infertility.”
She confessed: “The guilt I felt for even thinking that when I found out who is a boy, was horrendous.
“I’ll repeat again, it is okay to admit this – it doesn’t make you a bad mum, and it certainly doesn’t make you ungrateful.”
Char explained that she was “convinced” she was going to have another girl, after previously welcoming her first child, a daughter named Phoebe.
She shared that although she was gutted when she discovered she would be having a son, once she got her head “around it” and when he was born, she claimed that “everything fell into place.”
Regardless of her previous concerns, Char continued: “Although I didn’t see myself with a boy, I now couldn’t live without one.”
She described her son as the “apple of [her] eye” and admitted that she is “so lucky to have him.”
Reflecting on her initial worries, Char added: “And now I look back, I have no idea why I was disappointed or sad about it, because this little boy is my world, and I’m so glad that I had a little boy.”
She explained that she is “thankful” to now have “one of each”, and advised pregnant women not to worry about gender disappointment.
The mother explained that everything will be “ok” and things will “make sense” when the child is born.
The TikTok clip, which was posted under the username @char.mumlife, has clearly left many open-mouthed, as it has quickly amassed 52,400 views.
How to predict your baby’s gender at home
- Use skull theory, which claims you can tell whether you’re having a girl or a boy from the shape of their head
- Try a traditional Chinese gender predictor chart
- Do the ring gender test
- Give the baking soda gender test a go
- Learn more about nub theory which lets you predict your baby’s gender from their 12 week scan
OTHER MUMS REACT
Many social media users could relate to Char, and were keen to express this in the comments.
One person said: “100% it’s not the disappointment of them being who they are, it’s the disappointment of not/never having what you’ve pictured in your mind-sometimes your whole life!
“It’s like a type of grief.”
I cried my eyes out when I found out I was having my second boy
TikTok user
Another added: “This is amazing for you saying this, should definitely be spoken about more!! I felt this when I found out it was twins, I wasn’t happy! But now I would never change it and I could never imagine.”
A third commented: “I felt this so much.”
Meanwhile, another mother revealed: “I cried my eyes out when I found out I was having my second boy. I love my boys but wow it was overwhelming at the time.”
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