My husband does not want to have oral sex with me and I miss it so much
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband does not want to have oral sex with me and I miss it so much.
I’m 35 and he is 40.
We’ve been together for ten years and got married two years ago.
No matter what I do, my husband never wants to pleasure me through foreplay.
I’ll try and hint that I would like oral sex, but he always makes an excuse and switches the subject.
Despite this he’s always up for intercourse, which never makes me orgasm.
I only ever climax through self-pleasure or oral sex.
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He makes me feel guilty whenever I suggest he should try and get me to climax, but why should I?
I want to have an orgasm and enjoy sex too.
I’m certain that if I was another woman he would make more effort.
It hurts that I know he’s been watching porn because I looked at his phone.
I’ve asked if there’s someone else and he insists there isn’t but I don’t believe him.
I can’t see why else he wouldn’t be interested in pleasing me.
Our sex life used to be fun, rampant and full of love but now it’s so predictable.
How can I turn things around and get my husband to enjoy making love to me again?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s unfair for your husband to expect you to not experience any pleasure when you’re having sex.
Try to talk to him about how much you miss oral sex and foreplay when you are not in the bedroom.
Many people find it really difficult talking about such intimate subjects, so be prepared to approach the subject a number of times, there is never one big chat to find the solution.
Good communication over a period of time will help him open up and you express how much you miss the sex life that you had.
Women do need longer foreplay in order to become aroused and, in turn, climax.
My support packs on Understanding Female Pleasure and Tensions Over Oral Sex should be able to help you both move forward past this issue.