99 more things you never knew were 'racist'
For your edification, I would like to present you with another partial list of things that have been deemed racist and/or white supremacist (the two terms are often interchangeable) in the last few years. The list is growing daily, so this column can only be incomplete.
This list is presented only as a public service, so it's up to you – as a proper woke American – to avoid all the things, terms, people, subjects, foods, books, pets, diseases, locations, beverages, fashions and activities that might offend someone because of your white supremacy and privilege (even if you're not white). So without further ado, and in no particular order:
4. The terms "man" and "woman" are racist
9. Birds (the animals) are racist
10. All white people's households are racist by default
13. Keeping gay porn books away from kids is "white supremacy"
14. Small stock traders (i.e. GameStop) are racist
15. The use of fossil fuels is racist
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17. Wearing frilly dresses is racist
18. Eating three meals a day is racist
19. Owning a home security camera is racist
20. English (the language) is racist
22. Disliking body odor is racist
26. Organized pantries are racist
27. Robots are racist (and misogynist and colonialist)
28. Trees in national parks are racist
30. Childbirth (specifically, not dying during it) is racist
31. Cheese and other dairy products are racist
32. The symbol "100%" is a symbol of white supremacy
33. Flying the American flag is racist
34. Climate change is homophobic (it's not racism; but the headline was too good to resist)
35. Milk is racist
36. Saying "good morning" is racist
37. Romance is white supremacist
38. Jaywalking tickets are racist
40. Roads are racist
41. Punishing criminals is racist
42. Criticizing a fried chicken chain is racist
43. Low underpasses are racist
44. Heart problems in black women are due to racism
45. Difficult questions on the Bar Exam are racist
48. Pain is racist
49. Disney's financial woes are due to racism (and sexism)
50. Being a Taylor Swift fan is racist
51. Marriage promotes white supremacy
52. Loving reading and writing is racist
53. Wanting female-only spaces is racist
55. Being pro-life is also white supremacist
57. Stopping violent crime is racist
58. It's racist for a country radio station not to play Beyoncé
59. The British countryside is racist
60. Email is racist
61. Pilates (the fitness program) is racist
63. Crime alerts that mention race are racist
63. Energy development is racist
64. Mispronouncing unfamiliar ethnic names is racist
65. The "Chop Suey" font is racist
66. Using animal names as insults is racist
68. Growing strawberries is racist
69. Trees are racist
71. Building up America's infrastructure is racist
72. Not being racist is actually racist
75. The Three Wise Monkeys (see/hear/speak no evil) is racist
77. Classical music and opera are racist
78. Requiring voter ID is racist
80. NOT scapegoating white people during diversity training is racist
81. The Declaration of Independence is racist
82. Businesses that use uniformed cops as security guards are racist
83. Opposing the cancel culture is racist
84. A black or Latino Trump supporter is actually white, and therefore racist
85. Arguing that racism isn't the sole cause of poverty is racist
88. Recalling Gavin Newsom is racist
90. Monopoly (the board game) is racist
91. Asians "who use white supremacist thinking to get ahead" are racist
92. The concept of time is racist
94. Interracial marriages are racist
97. The National Guard is racist
I know this is a weary cliché, but it can hardly be improved: If everything is racist, nothing is racist. That should be abundantly clear by now. If you think punctuation or solar eclipses or the Appalachian Trail are racist, then you're just being stupid.
But hey, we knew that anyway, didn't we?
Editor's note: Read Patrice Lewis' previous lists of "racist" things, Yet MORE things you never knew were 'racist,'" "The list grows: 99 more things you never knew were racist" and "98 things you never knew were racist."
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