I want my husband to write me into his will – but he refuses to put it in writing
DEAR DEIDRE: AM I asking too much to expect my husband to write me into his will?
He seems to think he doesn’t need one and has reassured me I’ll be fine and taken care of if he goes before me.
But I’m desperate to have it in writing.
I’m 70 and he’s 72. We’ve been together for 35 years and have four children and several grandchildren.
We’re happily married but I can’t help but worry what will happen when he goes. I want legal protection.
We have a house, savings and investments, as well as two cars.
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He won’t discuss it. He just waves his hands and says it’s all sorted, before changing the subject.
But I worry I’ll end up homeless and a burden to our children. I don’t want them to squabble over our money either.
I also worry that if I go first, my husband will end up sitting in our home, unable to take care of himself.
We’ve already had to get a stairlift put in because he can’t get upstairs on his own any more.
I can’t relax until I know that when the time comes, either I or my husband will be taken care of financially.
How can I get him to put arrangements in place so I can sleep at night?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS:Your husband may be avoiding making a will because he is scared to confront his own mortality.
But burying his head in the sand is foolish, and it is causing you unnecessary stress.
Try not to worry you will be penniless if he dies intestate.
As his wife, you will get your share. But it will be more complicated and take longer without a will.
You need to make it clear how upset and anxious you are, and why making a will is important for both of you.
My support pack Standing Up For Yourself should help you have this conversation.
Perhaps you could make an appointment at a solicitor’s firm, and tell him it is all arranged. Citizen’s Advice (advice.org.uk) has information on its website about making a will and what happens if someone dies without one.