Finally: Ring Has Unveiled A Cheaper Option Where An Old Person In A Rocking Chair Sits On Your Porch And Tells You Everything They Saw That Day
Ring’s video doorbells have been providing customers with security and peace of mind for years, but the product’s high price tag has meant that not everybody has been willing or able to afford one. That’s all about to change, though: Ring has unveiled a cheaper option where an old person in a rocking chair sits on your porch and tells you everything they saw that day.
This is so great! Finally, true home security is available for everyone.
According to Ring, the price of their old person in a rocking chair is just under $10, though customers will have to provide a supply of peanuts and iced tea to keep the elderly man or woman alive. During the day, the old person will rock back and forth watching everything that passes by your porch. At the end of the day, you can ask the them what they saw, and they’ll tell you everything they can remember. If you try to get into your house without asking the old person what they saw, they will grab you by the arm and tell you about it anyway!
In a new commercial for Ring’s new affordable option, a family of four returns home and discovers that a burglar has broken into their house. When they ask the Ring-branded old man sitting on the porch what happened, he spends about 45 minutes talking about two dogs having sex that he saw in the alley across the street. Then he talks about how a new ugly mailman came by.
Finally, after listening to the old man describe a long list of irrelevant, miscellaneous things he saw, the father of the family asks the old man if he saw who broke into the house. The old man replies, “Yeah. It was a tall fellow who looked like my friend Jessup. But it couldn’t have been Jessup because he died in 1981. Got drunk and drove off the road in New Mexico.” Then the old man goes to sleep. The family smiles and hugs each other as the mother says, “Mystery solved.”
If this beautiful advertisement is any indication, a lot more families are about to experience similar moments of closure. Kudos to Ring for going the extra mile to make feeling safe at home an accessible dream for everyone. We can’t wait to try it out!