A woman shares her secrets for keeping her marriage strong for over 40 years with spontaneous dates and lots of affection

• Rita Smith has been married to her husband for 42 years.
• Smith films TikToks of their marriage and sex life, including their spontaneous hotel dates.
• Smith spoke to Business Insider about how she and her husband keep their partnership strong.

In a TikTok nearing one million views, Rita Smith, 62, gleefully packs lingerie into an overnight bag. "My Man Planned a Spontaneous Date to bring in Thanksgiving and I'm gonna be HIS Turkey" reads the caption as she holds fistfuls of pink, purple, and red lace panties.

Smith and her husband have been together for 42 years, she told Business Insider. She met her husband, Theodore Smith, Sr., 64, when they were teenagers. He would pass by her parents' house all the time until one day, he stopped by and asked for her number. They were married when Smith was 19 and Theodore was 21.

While Smith said their marriage has always been strong, she said it's gotten even better over the years since their three kids moved out and they became empty nesters.

"You get to communicate a lot and get to know each other even more," Smith said. "You get a lot of intimacy in."

Smith spoke to BI about how the couple keep the spark alive in their four-decade marriage — and how their sex life keeps getting better.

They go on spontaneous date nights

Smith said one of the things that keeps her marriage exciting is how her husband surprises her with date nights that he plans out.

"He is so romantic and he's so spontaneous," she said. "I have to keep up with him."

Smith said he'll sometimes call her, ask if she's free, and tell her to get ready for a night at a hotel.

"He's a fireball," she said, "but you know what, both of us are like that."

They maintain constant intimacy

Beyond date nights, Smith said that she and Theodore are intimate in many different ways.

"I love to be touched," she said. They make sure to hold hands together while walking down the street or go out to look at Christmas lights.

They also communicate often. Smith said her husband calls her daily, sometimes within 15 minutes of leaving the house.

"These things just keep me on high," she said. "It makes me feel like a real queen."

They're deeply grateful for each other

Smith said that neither she nor her husband had this kind of relationship modeled for them by their parents, which makes it all the more special that theirs is so loving and secure.

"I wanted a different marriage," Smith said. "I knew what I wanted and I knew what type of man I wanted, and when I got blessed with that, I have such a gratitude for that."

Smith said she was abused as a child by her mother, and that she was "so broken" when she first got married to Theodore.

"Even when I had those different moods and was feeling that hurt and that pain from my past, he cultivated me," she said. "He prayed for me. He really stood the test of time with me."

To this day, she said they "do a lot of laughing, intimacy time with each other, getting to know each other, encouraging each other, building each other up."

"I've had this type of love for 42 blissful years, since day one," she said. "And he never changed. His love for me is consistent."