An Extremely Online Gift Guide
How online were you this year? If the answer is anything less than “extremely,” many of the gifts on this list will likely not make any sense to you. But your friends and family who will spend Christmas morning scrolling TikTok and updating you on unhinged celebrity Instagrams will love them. Just trust us on this one.
Nepo Baby Onesie
Whether they’re the heir to Boss Baby residuals or just your DVD collection, every nepo baby deserves to brag about their A-list status. —Emily Palmer Heller
Oyster Catch-All Dish
If you’re always in the mood to eat 48 oysters, perhaps a cute catchall oyster dish can be an addition to your nightstand. While a dozen oysters is normally like $30, this dish is less than half that and isn’t going to ditch you on a date (unless you buy 48 oyster dishes). —Alejandra Gularte
Cursor Hair Claw
For the girlie who makes going online her identity, these custom hair clips by Colette Bernard are a no-brainer. They’re made to order, so if you buy now, they’ll ship on December 15 — just in time for Christmas.
Club Chalamet Hat
The internet has mostly dissolved monoculture as we once knew it, but once in a while, a moment in culture breaks through and captures our collective attention. One such moment occurred when Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner kissed at Beyoncé’s birthday concert in Los Angeles on the Renaissance world tour at the end of the summer, confirming the relationship that had been rumored for months. Cigarette etiquette reentered the discourse, and stan accounts melted down. Simone, a.k.a Club Chalamet (a superfan account dedicated to its namesake), was among those who had a particularly rough day. If you have a Timothée stan in your own life who likewise suffered, the Club Chalamet merch shop is the perfect destination to find them a gift that will allow them to signal their allegiance not just to their idol, but to the stan account that lives, breathes, and posts Chalamet with a dedication that only a chronically online stan could ever achieve. —Anusha Praturu
A Cameo from TJ Mack
Brian Jordan Alvarez is about to be way too famous, booked, and busy to do Cameos, so get one of his TikTok characters on the line now while you still can! TJ Mack and Marni seem to be popular choices, but if I ever got a personalized holiday greeting from “the Student,” I would faint. —Rebecca Alter
Selena’s Mexican Blanket
The generic Mexican blanket you can find in any dorm room or beachfront rental house got a glow-up this year thanks to Miss Selena Gomez. Hopefully the Selenator in your life will be just as serene and unbothered when they unwrap this wrap on Christmas morning. —EPH
Hot Ones Hot Sauce
Who among us has not wagered against our friends as to how we would fare in the hot seat across Sean Evans? Well, now you can find out for yourself where on the Padma Lakshmi–Bobby Lee spice-tolerance spectrum you land. The season-22 trio includes three sauces spanning the official lineup, including, critically, the Last Dab: Xperience, coming in at no less than 2,693,000 Scoville heat units. Best of luck to you and your toilet bowls on this righteous endeavor. —AP
Lululemon Crossbody
Preferably purchased in salmon. Just don’t leave it at the gym. —EPH
Uno
We may never know why so many celebrities — from Taylor Swift and Sophie Turner to Beyoncé and Questlove — were spotted playing Uno this year. But you, too, can get in on the (relative) fun with your very own set of Uno. This metal tin is a little more durable than your typical card box and makes for a lovely stocking stuffer. —EPH
Lofi Girl Bullet Journal
Now your loved one can study/relax just like Lofi Girl! Give this to someone who wishes they could live in a Ghibli movie. —Bethy Squires
Euphoria Glitter
As a glitter lover who went to both Renaissance and the Eras tours this year, I wish I had this earlier. This glitter, created by the Euphoria makeup team, is top-notch. It’s incredibly easy to apply — you get some on the back of your hand, and as you apply it to you face, you can mold it to the shape you want. It was super easy to mold a sparkly winged liner on my eyelid, and after the glitter set, it didn’t move. There wasn’t any glitter residue on my face as I was out and about. But the best part was honestly removing the makeup, because you can grab a lint roller and roll it off your skin (trust me, it doesn’t leave a trace). It was the first time I’ve woke up after a sparkly night out and didn’t look like Edward from Twilight in the a.m. —AG
The Twilight Saga Box Set
For the 15th anniversary of the first Twilight film, Lionsgate released a steel book with 4K Ultra HD + Blu-ray + Digital versions of all five films in a box set that will make your favorite Fanpire sparkle. It’s full of director and actor commentaries and interviews for all of the films, as well as extended scenes for New Moon and Eclipse — over 12 hours of bonus features total, in fact. Plus, physical media is superior because popping a disc in is much faster than trying to type “Twilight” with a remote. —AG