My parents were millionaires but I married a bargain hunter – he hunts down supermarket deals and enjoys camping hols
PEI-L Yang, 46, is a parenting consultant and lives in Edinburgh with her partner Chris, 44, an IT consultant, and their three dogs.
“Bursting into the living room, I excitedly told my partner Chris I’d just booked a surprise trip to Turin in Italy for his birthday.
“He looked stunned, then asked if I’d shopped around for the best deal.
“‘Typical!’ I thought. I was spontaneous with money – Chris was anything but.
“I grew up in a wealthy family in Taiwan. My parents were self-made millionaires, having set up a business exporting goods.
“We lived in a five-bedroom house across three floors, our family holidays were to five-star hotels in America and Singapore, and my wardrobe was filled with designer labels.
“It was important to my parents that I grew up to be financially independent, so in 2004, when I was 27, I moved to Scotland to study art therapy.
“Once I’d got my Masters in childhood studies and psychology, I got a job working with children with challenging behaviour, and used my salary to buy a car and put down a deposit on a flat.
“Now I had my own money, I loved spending it all the more. Every year, I booked myself a holiday for my birthday, and loved treating myself to clothes, facials and nights out.
“I met Chris online in August 2019 and fell for his kind, funny personality and big heart.
“But from the outset we’d disagree about where to go on dates.
“Whenever I suggested new places, Chris never seemed keen.
“It drove me up the wall, until I realised that he was more cautious than me and needed time to get his head around things, whether trying a new restaurant or going on .
“When we moved in together after lockdown was announced in March 2020, I realised just how different our backgrounds were, and as a result, our attitude to money.
“Chris had grown up in Scotland and, although his dad worked hard as a sales manager, they were frugal.
“Chris shared a bedroom with one of his sisters in their terraced house and they’d go camping for their family holidays.
“They’d only go out for meals on special occasions when the children were older.
“His upbringing had rubbed off on Chris, who would shop for yellow-ticket items at the supermarket and spend weeks researching the best holiday deals.
“He was horrified when I told him I’d bought my first car when I was passing a showroom and just liked the look of it, and was amazed by tales of my lavish family life back in Taiwan.
“Suddenly, a lot of things made sense. I also began to realise his approach to money came with benefits – spending longer looking into different holidays meant we got better deals.
“During the pandemic, I wanted to leave my job as a manager of a parenting therapeutic service and set up my own business, but it was Chris who cautioned me to wait until after lockdown when the world had settled down again.
“Although I was keen to get on with it, I listened to him, and when I launched my practice supporting teens with challenging behaviour and their families, in October last year, I had to admit he’d been right.
“Chris, who used to work in IT, joined the business this year to help with my website and admin, and the fact that we are living and working together happily is proof of how compatible we are, despite our differences.
“They say opposites attract – that is definitely the case with us!”
Chris says: “Pei-I and I are complete opposites, but it’s our differences that make us work.
“She introduces the excitement into our relationship, and often her impulsiveness stops me overthinking and overanalysing and pushes me into just getting on with things.
“But I also like to think I stop her making rash decisions and wasting money. We’re the perfect match.”
- Visit Rainbowparentingpractice.com.
‘My partner does half-marathons, but I only run for the ice-cream van’
Cath Harrison, 51, is a virtual PA and lives in Derby.
Her partner Paul, 46, is a project manager and lives in Darlington. They each have two children from previous relationships.
“Popping his head around the door, my partner Paul held up his trainers and announced he was going for a run.
“I nodded happily as I broke off another square of chocolate and popped it into my mouth, snuggling further into the sofa.
“I met Paul through a body-positivity Facebook group in May 2019, after he was invited to join by a friend, and I knew from the off how completely different we were.
“Chatting online, he told me about the 10km runs and half-marathons he loved to complete and the healthy food he cooked.
“Meanwhile, the only time I ever ran was after an ice-cream van, and I’d happily exist on toast, takeaways and, of course, my beloved chocolate.
“A size 18 at 5ft 10in, I’ve never had any interest in the active lifestyle that Paul, who was toned and muscular, lived.
“I was honest about this with him, being happy and confident in my own skin.
“I wasn’t surprised Paul was interested in me, but I was cautious about our differences.
“In August 2019, we had our first date. We got on really well, but it was obvious it wasn’t just our bodies that were very different.
“He had tattoos, I had none; he barely drank, while I loved a gin and tonic; I never thought much about my health, while he was extremely conscious of his.
“We’ve been a couple for three years now and have never let those differences come between us.
“In fact, we’ve embraced them, rather than trying to change one another.
Every Sunday morning, he’ll leap out of bed and on to his Peloton bike, while I’ll roll into the middle of the bed to enjoy a lie-in.
“I’ll proudly stand on the sidelines, cheering him on during his races, never once feeling the urge to run alongside him.
“I have to admit, his homemade chicken casserole, served with piles of vegetables, is delicious, but I still enjoy my junk food.
“He’s picked up a few of my bad habits, though, and he now enjoys a gin and tonic, too.
“Although Paul doesn’t have a sweet tooth like I do, I can sometimes tempt him over to the dark side with a bowl of nachos.
“Our differences aren’t ever something we argue over – in fact, I’d say they’ve brought us even closer together, because we’re always teasing each other about them.
“Paul doesn’t care what dress size I am, but he does encourage me to be healthier, especially as I have recently been diagnosed with high blood pressure.
“I know that he’s right, and I can easily spend all day behind my laptop working, so with his love and encouragement I’ve started going on walks with him at the weekends – albeit with a pub lunch and a G&T at the end!
“But that is more than enough exercise for me at the moment – there’s no way I will be joining him in a triathlon!
“There are other things in a relationship that I believe are far more important than being alike – things such as having love, trust, respect and chemistry. And we are lucky to have all of those in spades.”
Paul says: “While on paper, Cath and I might be completely different, in practice we work together perfectly.
“I love absolutely everything about her – she makes me laugh and I’ve never met a woman quite like her.
“The only thing I worry about is the impact Cath’s lack of exercise and love of sweets will have on her health.
“After all, I want to have her around for as long as possible! But even that is something we’re working on together with our weekend walks.
“I couldn’t feel luckier to be her partner.”
- Visit Bee-assisted.com.
‘My husband is teetotal, but I’m a complete party animal’
Heather Rose, 44, is a social media mentor, mum to Isaac, 15, and lives in Lancashire with her husband Barry, 45, a technical consultant.
“When it comes to our perfect way to spend a Friday night, my husband Barry and I couldn’t be more different.
“You’ll find me in a bar, drinking and dancing with my mates in a new dress, while he’s at home on the sofa listening to the radio with a cuppa.
“I’m an extrovert, who loves nothing more than letting my hair down and being sociable, while Barry is teetotal and reserved.
“We met in March 2011 when we worked for the same cruise company – me working in HR and him as a systems manager onboard the ship.
“He was unapologetically himself and I loved that about him, because that is what I am too.
“I’d spent years being bullied because of my weight, both at school and during my first few jobs.
“I felt so inadequate that I just wanted to fade into the background so no one would notice me.
“I got into a relationship and I had my son Isaac in 2007.
“I split from my partner in 2011, and it was only after meeting Barry that same year and being accepted for who I was that I realised I was sick of watching life pass me by.
“I thought about the type of person I wanted to be – I wanted to stand out, to have fun and not care what anyone else thought.
“I wanted to show my son how to be himself and that anything is possible, so I had to lead by example.
“On the nights Isaac was with his dad, I’d go out with friends, drinking and dancing, and I even dyed my hair pink.
“It took me a long time, but I finally accepted myself and found that having the confidence to be me only made me more attractive to people.
“That was exactly how I found Barry’s self-acceptance – he didn’t try to be anyone else and never felt pressured to drink alcohol or go clubbing when he didn’t want to.
“I loved that he was happy to wave me off as I headed to an afternoon session in the pub with my friends, as he put the kettle on again and turned on the radio to listen to his favourite show.
“Isaac was only three when we got together and Barry has raised him as his own, which just makes me love him even more.
“Of course, over the years, there have been nights where I have dragged him along and, as he has nursed his cola in the corner of a bar, he’s laughed with friends about how he would rather be at home and I’ve rolled my eyes in joking despair.
“Sometimes, I can’t understand how happy he is in his own company when I adore being with others, but we know that you don’t have to understand what someone enjoys to love them.”
Barry says: “I admire Heather for embracing who she is, and I love that she’s never wanted or asked for me to change.
“We may be different socially, but I admire how she tackles life and it makes me want to step out of my comfort zone.
“She is the yin to my yang.”
- Visit Pinkfizz.social.