Cross-campus couples turn rivalry to romance

Dhruv Naik ’26 M.S. ’27 met Anjali Dixit in the spring of his senior year of high school at DECA Nationals. This was the beginning of a situationship that would result in an almost two and a half year long relationship. 

Lucia Langaney ’26 met her now boyfriend, Uriah Rodriguez, in her freshmen year of high school in their Advanced Placement (AP) Human Geography class. They have been dating since December 2018.

What do these relationships have in common? Despite their schools’ decades-long rivalry, one partner goes to Stanford and the other goes to Berkeley.

“… A relationship between them actually works well, because when I want to escape the sort of stuffiness of the Stanford campus I go to Cal, and it’s a crazy scene over there. And when she wants to escape the craziness of Cal, she comes to Stanford, it’s a lot more quiet,” said Ben Botvinick ’28, another Stanford student dating a Cal student, Isabelle Katz. 

For these couples, love trumps the historic rivalry, even as the Big Game draws closer. 

“When we went to the Big Game [2022, 2023], we brought baseball caps from the two different schools, and would switch them off depending on who was winning,” Langaney said. “So, it’s just fun to play both sides, because we’re both affiliated with both sides.”

Cal-Stanford relationships allow partners to experience the best of both schools. Unlike most students who only get one college experience for four years, these students get two. 

“It’s been great seeing both sides of the schools and being a student through Lucia has been also pretty great. I wouldn’t have it any other way,” said Rodriguez, Langaney’s partner. 

“Being with someone from Berkeley reminds me how much bigger the world is. It introduces me to a lot of really interesting people that I wouldn’t otherwise meet,” Botvinick said. 

While both schools are academically competitive Bay Area universities, these couples notice there is much the student bodies and administrations do not align on as well. 

“[It’s different] just being in the actual city of Berkeley, where it’s a little bit rough around the edges and there’s more stuff going on, whereas here, I’d say it’s pretty mellow and just shapes people very differently,” Naik said. 

Students at the schools also allocate their free time differently, creating distinct student cultures. 

“I think it’s a lot more lively at Berkeley, because there are a lot more people. So, there’s always something going on,” Langaney said. “I feel like [at Stanford] people are a lot more oriented towards their career and future.”

Stanford-Cal couples note that there is often a different level of maturity Berkeley students must have. Non-guarenteed housing, the neighboring city and strained resources mean Berkeley students face tough realities in a way Stanford students may never have to in their four years on campus.  

“Going to Stanford, you’re pampered a lot. If you want to meet with an academic advisor, you just book an appointment. You can usually get an appointment the same day or the next day. [My partner] has to wait months in order to get an appointment with her own advisor,” Botvinick said.

Though both Langaney and Naik knew their partners before their time at Stanford, they also got to watch them grow through their time at college, in a distinctly different way at Berkeley then they have grown at Stanford.  

“She’s a very mature, awesome person. It might just be her, but I do think being at Berkeley plays a part in that,” Naik said. 

To travel the distance, partners can take the Bay Area Rapid Transit (BART) or drive. Using public transportation to travel between the two campuses can take about two and a half hours, according to the couples. Managing travel on top of classwork and extracurriculars is no small feat. Nevertheless, they make it work. With cars, dealing with the distance has been much easier, according to Langaney. 

“I wouldn’t call myself in a long distance relationship,” Naik said. 

Stanford-Cal couples note that there is a difference in the way students at each university perceive their respective rival. The partners have this unique sense of clarity on the rivalry, as they are deeply involved in both communities. 

“I feel like every time I’ve talked to people from Berkeley, they always mentioned something about Stanford, like dissing it. Then, I feel like Stanford students here don’t really care,” Langaney said. 

Botvinick noted a difference in the behavior of students as well. “When I go to [Berkeley] there is a lot more hostility from Cal people towards Stanford than from Stanford people towards Cal. The reason for this is that Cal people have a chip on their shoulder,” Botvinick said. 

Though the rivalry is undeniably real for students at both schools, these couples have been able to see past that, finding a love that brought them new people and experiences. 

“Not many people get to say, ‘Oh, I went to Stanford for four years’. ‘Oh, you were a student?’ ‘Nah, I was just there,’” said Rodriguez. “Pretty unique experience, yeah.”

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