The Real Housewives of Atlanta Recap: Declassing The Show

I can’t believe that we’re on our penultimate The Real Housewives of Atlanta Sunday of the season, and Brit Eady still doesn’t seem to realize she’s on Bravo. When people deragatorily compare RHOA’s penchant for twerking and turn-ups to Love and Hip Hop, I usually ignore it as inevitable criticism of the new era of Atlanta, but even I can admit Brit Eady’s fighting style is better suited to a lower caliber reality television show (we all know that Bravo is considered high brow in the world of reality TV). Ass shaking and shot pouring are one thing, but abortion shaming is where I draw the line — please take that to VH1. Or, better yet, let’s not do it at all!

It’s a shame because, following Phaedra’s sound advice in Grenada, there was a glimmer of opportunity for Brit to turn her horrible first season around (or at least salvage what was left) in the final stretch. And for a moment, when she finally graciously invited some of the women into her home, it seemed like she was ready to give a valiant effort and perhaps allow us to get to know her outside of the Kenya fiasco. She tries her hardest to embody a Housewife by being light and playful with the right dash of messy (there was an awkward attempt to reignite the fight between Shamea and Porsha, but it falls flat like everything else she does). But the damage control only lasts for one scene because by the end of the episode, when the words “Unless you want to talk about the abortions you had when you were married” escape from her mouth with ease, Brit Eady secured the final nail in her own coffin.

Before Brit continues to show her ass like she has all season, the rest of the cast actually understands the assignment by keeping appropriate drama flowing and delivering storylines in what was an otherwise great episode. Phaedra gives us a nostalgic update on her youngest son, Dylan, a.k.a. Mr. President, who is embarking on a budding passion for fashion design. It’s surreal to witness the now 11-year-old growing into a young person with dreams and aspirations outside of escaping the dentist and playing with his brother. Dylan, like his brother, is a member of the elusive club of Housewife kids who’ve grown before our eyes since their first breath; Phaedra’s oldest son, Ayden, had a storyline before he opened his eyes for the first time with the now iconic scene of his mother lying about his due date.

Phaedra’s legacy status and the ensuing emotional connection fans have with following her life and her children are her greatest assets, along with her natural gift of gab. Watching Dylan in awe, like the rest of the audience, as he prepares to show his custom-designed pants for her Black Glove event at The Vault is where Phaedra is at her most likable. Still, I’m not convinced her presence deserved a full-time spot and tagline, but it’s great to see her relationship with Ayden and Dylan. Shamea continues the family love with a visit with Shiloh’s doctor, declaring the little one healthy and unafflicted by her mom’s post-vacay bout of strep throat. It’s another wholesome moment, with Shamea giving us a great confessional about why her babies are always “greased up,” bringing me back to my own childhood days standing by the door as my mom slathered Vaseline on my face before sending me off to school.

While Phaedra and Shamea hold down the family-friendly storylines, Angela delivers mystery after Kelli’s Williams Sonoma-sponsored cooking competition with Charles reveals a snake in her orbit. As if the state of Charles and Angela’s marriage didn’t seem awkward enough after his cold FaceTimes in Grenada, at the cook-off, a random fan takes it upon himself to inform Angela of “some things she might not know about her husband.” Is anyone else having Married to Medicine déjà vu — and not only from the random Sweet Tea cameo at Phaedra’s event — from when a “fan” accosted Quad in public about Lisa Nicole’s husband? Thankfully, this didn’t end in the stranger alleging to be Charles’s boyfriend like it did on M2M, but the moment was just as suspiciously contrived.

First, the stranger, who appeared to be attending the event as a fan, introduces himself as Marcus and asks to pull Angela aside. She brushes him off, saying in her confessional, “Who gave you the license to come speak to me?” But Marcus doesn’t give up — once they’re toasting at the end of the waffle-off, he proposes the group cheers “if your name is Angela and your husband is cheating on you,” leading to his prompt removal from the event guided by Kelli’s security. Mind you, this is all happening a few feet away from Charles, but either he genuinely didn’t hear what was happening, or he chose to ignore it. Angela, glad that her pitbull of a husband didn’t “tear his ass up,” plays it cool as the competition winds down, but when the group reconvenes for Phaedra’s Black Glove shopping event, it’s clear she’s not letting it go.

At the event, which is held at the fashion showroom Phaedra co-owns, Angela shares with the group that someone “who cares about them deeply” told her that Marcus was hired to be at Williams-Sonoma to deliver that tea. Apparently, her source has a “description” of the person who paid Marcus (I am loving how she’s using language that makes this sound like a criminal investigation, so much so that production asked if she was tied to the mob), and she will reveal more information later. While this is a very juicy revelation, Brit’s arrival and her subsequent blow-up with Kelli eclipse Angela’s announcement. Brit and Kelli’s friendship has been held together by a string that’s been increasingly frayed throughout the episode as they each breadcrumbed their issues with each other. While the drama surrounding the glam squads and Brit not checking after Kelli’s important divorce hearing are valid reasons for Kelli to distance herself, the absolute disdain the two have for each other (Kelli didn’t even make eye contact with Brit when she arrived) speaks to something bigger.

To me, Kelli flip-flopping on Brit this late in the game has a whiff of convenience, as if Kelli knew aligning herself with Brit amidst the Kenya controversy wasn’t a good look. Combined with Brit’s overly defensive behavior, lack of support, and the tackiness of the Grenada donation, Kelli knew it was time to jump ship. Brit enters the event immediately, ready to instigate Kelli in retaliation for the icy reception from her estranged bestie. It starts with passive-aggressive digs, including Kelli hinting that maybe Brit was the one who hired Marcus and acting surprised that Brit would invite the ladies to her home, but it escalates quickly, with Cynthia physically stepping between the two.

Soon, Kelli’s voice creeps up a few octaves after Brit calls her insecure, prompting her to lay the glam team drama on the table. As they go back and forth — Phaedra said it’s better than the Wimbledon championship — and the fight starts to get really good with Kelli calling Brit a pill popper (we need to hear more about this comment at the reunion), Brit takes what would have been a four-star episode straight to the gutter. In her confessional, Brit says since she lost respect for Kelli, nothing is off limits anymore, and she’ll “lay the whole clip out” (someone didn’t learn their lesson about gun references). As Kelli storms off, Brit yells the distasteful comment about Kelli’s abortions, following it up by calling her a hobbit, and the rest of the women reflexively gasp, knowing how low of a blow such a statement is.

Let’s be very clear — no woman deserves to be shamed about the choices she makes with her reproductive organs, particularly in this political climate (shout out to Phaedra for sarcastically saying we might not even be able to get birth control soon). The fact that Brit would weaponize her knowledge of Kelli’s medical history shows that she was never a supportive friend and probably judged Kelli all along. Shamea immediately clocks the parallels between the Kenya situation and what Brit just did to Kelli, but Brit doubles down, proving that she’s truly not a girl’s girl. A real woman would never consider Kelli’s abortion as something that could be weaponized. Kelli rightfully walks away, and the rest of the women agree in their confessionals that Brit went too far. Like NeNe once said about Phaedra and Porsha, Brit, you’re declassing the show!

Despite Brit’s disgusting outburst, I genuinely enjoyed the episode. The cast’s chemistry has fallen into a promising rhythm, and it was wonderful to see the support for Porsha and her late cousin at the end of the event. Londie’s tragic death was a huge loss for Porsha and her family — Londie was my favorite part of Porsha’s spin-off; she seemed like a good voice of reason for her cousin — and my heart goes out to them. While I’m sad the season is coming to an end next week, the great news is, hopefully, that will be the last time we’ll have to deal with Brit fucking up a good thing!

Peach Tea To-Go

• One thing I did not have on my season 16 bingo card was how much comedy Drew would bring to the show. This is perhaps one of her best seasons, and although she didn’t have a huge part in tonight’s episode, watching her locked out of the warehouse sharing chicken wings with a random security guard was perfectly chaotic.

• Only in the Real Housewives universe can you see NBA legend Charles Oakley sweating over a stove trying to beat a five-foot-nothing firecracker (I love how she came up to his elbow while wearing heels) in a waffle-making contest. It’s great to see this side of The Enforcer as he humors his wife while she films the show. I can’t speak on the validity of these cheating claims, but seeing him actively support Angela in his uniquely rigid way is sweet.