Trump Plans To Sign Executive Order Declaring English America’s Official Language, White House Sources Say

In the roughly two and a half centuries that the United States of America has been an independent nation, it has never had an official language. But now President Donald Trump is, once again, our commander-in-lies-and-white-grief, and since he hasn’t signed a single order that wasn’t clearly intended to win more praises from his already cult-like base — as opposed to orders that are actually about what’s best for the country — he is now planning to sign a new EO declaring English America’s official language, according to White House sources.

Now, as CBS News noted, Republicans have unsuccessfully tried to push legislation declaring English America’s official language through Congress in the past. It’s also worth noting that 32 states across the country have already made English their official language. When it comes right down to it, it’s an arbitrary move. English is already overwhelmingly the most common language spoken in the States. In fact, we are the only developed nation where it’s uncommon for the vast majority of citizens to only know one language. (And our ever-fluctuating literacy rates say we only really have a tenuous grasp on the one language we know.)

So, what practical reason is there to declare English or any singular language as the nation’s official language?

Well, actually, Trump appears to have a practical reason. I mean, if he doesn’t sign this order, he might run the risk of going half a day without reminding everyone how much he hates non-white immigrants.

From CBS:

The English language executive order will rescind a federal mandate that requires agencies and other recipients of federal funding to provide language assistance to non-English speakers, a mandate issued by former President Bill Clinton. Agencies, however, will still be able to provide documents and services in other languages. The Trump administration says its goal is to “promote unity, establish efficiency in the government, and provide a pathway to civic engagement.”

A “pathway to civil engagement,” huh? Nah, I’m pretty sure the guy whose idea of “civil engagement” is comparing migrants to Hannibal Lecter and lying about them eating white people’s pets is actually only signing this order to make things harder on non-English speaking people while pandering to bigots who beat their chests and shout, “THIS IS ‘MURICA, AND WE SPEAN ENGLISH HERE!”

Here’s a question for Republicans: If America is such a great nation, why do you people always seem so damn insecure about it?

White conservative America always seems like it’s compensating for something, doesn’t it? Why else does Trump need to unilaterally rename a body of water the “Gulf of America?” (And, by the way, his momma named him Gulf of Mexico, I’m calling him Gulf of Mexico.) Why else do Americans have this insatiable need to shout “WE’RE NUMBER ONE!” from every mountain top they can wobble themselves up to the top of? America couldn’t possibly be the “best nation God gave the Earth” if it constantly has to convince everyone of it, including roughly half its own citizens.

If Trump signs his little “I hate pressing 2 for Spanish” executive order, it will only be an extension of America’s perpetual need for a pep talk.

It’s pretty sad, really.

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