Elon Musk’s robot baby Jesus

The problem with writing a newsletter about weird, cranky absurd trends on the internet is that they are all trends.

When we cover a topic, it’s usually because it’s reached a critical mass of people, accepted as some version of truth, and is starting to influence the world outside.

As such, these conspiracies can only be so insane. For enough people to see it, share it, and adopt it, there has to be a modicum of legitimacy wrapped in some emotional resonance.

“Not true,” you might say, “I’ve seen a bunch of people fall for the most ridiculous shit. Furniture companies trafficking children in armoires, Trump staging his own assassination attempt, the government controlling the weather.”

Sure, but come on, are those really that ridiculous? You can, if you twist the news and sprinkling in a dash of skepticism about official narratives, see why people might embrace it. Admit it, you’ve been Q curious. After all, pedophile politicians do exist.

What I want to talk about today is something I wished more people were talking about, but is so far afield I could only find one person—across the entire internet—speaking on it.

But sometimes, it's these lone prophets, whose ideas are reflexively shunned, who are delivering Truth.

And that would be: Elon Musk fathered robot baby Jesus.

And no, not like in the “this child will save us” Barron Trump meme stanning.

Like Elon impregnated a direct descendant of Mary Magdalene and juiced it up with some superhuman ability.

The Da Vinci Code meets DNA editing. 

Elon Musk baby robot Jesus starts with a fake screenshot

It all started with an easily debunkable meme, the kind of stuff that might be fodder for a newsletter not interested in delving into the darkest depths of discourse.

After conservative influencer Ashley St. Clair revealed that she fathered a child with Musk, a fake screenshot circulated on Bluesky, which claimed that the two hadn’t physically fornicated but used IVF and gene-editing technology to build a super baby.

“Our little one’s DNA now includes enhancements from other organisms for superior intelligence $ health,” the doctored post read.

The image came at a time when St. Clair was frantically tweeting at Musk then deleting her posts, so it was not surprising—given Musk’s transhumanist proclivities—that some thought it might be legit even if they couldn’t source it.

The joke died out on leftie sites, but made its way to one Gab user, who didn’t seem to realize it wasn’t legit.

“Some people may have noticed a weird operation now in play regarding a member of the St Clair family announcing her ‘superior genetically modified super baby’ with Elon,” wrote @aetherczar.

It is part of the—in his words—“transhumanist/ZionoReligious convergence.”

What might be the transhumanist/ZionoReligious convergence, you might be asking, a phrase that gets literally zero hits on Google?

It is as one respondent to the post put it, giving a baby “The eyes of eagles. The heart and lungs of wolves,” and the divine blood of Jesus Christ.

Like, literally. Some believe, @aetherczar goes on to say, The St. Clair name is part of the holy bloodline of the “Jesus's babies.”

The secret of Dan Brown’s early 2000s thriller was that Jesus fathered a child with Mary Magdalene, whose lineage had been kept a secret for centuries.

The dramatic reveal takes place at the Rosslyn Chapel in Scotland, which, @aetherczar notes, “just so happens to be owned by the St. Clair family.”

While there’s no proof St. Clair is related to the family that’s run the church since it was built, those St. Clair’s have touted that they are the direct descendants of Jesus.

Which means that the genetically modified baby currently locked in a Financial District penthouse as St. Clair sues for custody is part Elon, part Jesus.

And, if you believe all that, and you should because in 2025, why the hell not, it poses a question we all should be asking ourselves: What happens when the Son of Man meets the singularity?

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