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I was a teacher for 20 years but rarely saw my kids. I became a virtual assistant a year ago, and life is much better.

Martha Kilner now works next to her husband at home after 20 years working as a teacher.
  • Martha Kilner, from London, was a teacher for 20 years.
  • She ended up in hospital after a panic attack due to the increasing stress and workload.
  • She became a virtual assistant in early 2024 and was fully booked within three weeks.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Martha Kilner. It has been edited for length and clarity.

I wanted to be a teacher ever since I did my psychology degree. I did my dissertation on dyslexia in children, which involved lots of visits to schools, and I felt really comfortable being in front of a class. So I became a teacher in 2002, at the age of 22.

For years, I gave it my heart and soul. The school felt like a family, and teaching was my purpose and calling. I got married in 2010 and had three children in three and a half years. I took maternity leave and returned to teaching full time in 2018.

I realized that I couldn't have a family and be a teacher, so I became a virtual assistant in 2024.

I had no life-work balance as a teacher

Almost as soon as I went back, I realized that it wasn't working anymore. It became clear that it wasn't family-friendly. I used to think teaching would be great when I had kids because of all the vacations you get. But I was leaving for work at 7 a.m. and not getting home until 6 p.m. a lot of the time, so I hardly saw my children. The workload was also never-ending.

I started having lots of health issues, which I attributed to teaching. I was having hair loss and heart palpitations, and I had a ticking in my ear. After sitting down for six hours straight during a parents' evening, I ended up with deep vein thrombosis. I just felt like I wasn't living my life anymore, and things came to a head in 2019 when, after a session with a student teacher, my heart started racing. My colleagues called an ambulance, and I was taken to the hospital; as it turned out, I'd had a panic attack.

But I didn't quit teaching then. I thought it was me, that it was because I had been out of teaching, that it was a new school, and I needed to get into the swing of things, and it would all be fine.

The school offered me a new job but I knew it was time to leave

Then 2020 came, and the Covid lockdowns happened. On my 40th birthday, the announcement came that schools were closed and teaching would go online. We had the Easter vacation to prepare, and I had never had much to do with Google Classroom. I taught third grade, so they weren't used to using computers regularly and accessing resources online. It was stressful at first, but I actually enjoyed meeting my class online in small groups while being at home and not spending so many hours at school.

During maternity leave, I learned to crochet as I found it relaxing, and it was during the pandemic that I thought I could turn it into a side hustle by creating online crochet tutorials. I couldn't quite make it profitable, but I had already decided I wasn't returning to in person teaching. My school offered me a role as their marketing and communications officer — a role I actually loved, managing the school's social media, PR, and newsletters. But it was a low-paid, entry-level job, which wasn't sustainable financially.

I became a virtual assistant

A friend then suggested becoming a virtual assistant (or VA). I found a website called "The VA Handbook" and a Facebook group called "The VA Handbookers" and learned everything I needed to know about becoming a VA. It was mainly about marketing myself because I already knew how to build websites and organize spreadsheets and calendars. From my crochet business experience, I knew getting clients would be the hardest part.

I posted on my personal social media that I was going to try being a VA. Someone I had previously worked with booked me for 30 hours a month there and then, as she had just set up her own marketing agency. That gave me the confidence to officially set up my VA business. I then put up a LinkedIn post about it. So many people who I'd worked with before vouched for me, and I was fully booked within three weeks.

I now have four VA clients who work from 10 hours a month to 60 hours a month. I do everything from inbox and calendar management to social media and websites, proofreading and editing documents, data entry, and customer support. I'm more of a business assistant, as there are so many different aspects of a business that I help with.

I'm more present for my kids

Life is so different now. I take my kids to school every day, and I go for a 6k walk afterward, either with a friend or listening to a podcast. On a Thursday, a friend comes to my house to work, and on Friday, my husband, who's a lawyer, works from home, so I still have work buddies.

I actually make more money, too, and work fewer hours. I can earn about $58,000 a year as a VA, working about 30 hours a week, while I was making about $54,000 a year in my last teaching role. I don't get company retirement payments anymore — I will have to pay into a retirement fund myself — and of course, I don't get the teacher vacation anymore. But weighing up the pros and cons, I still think I have a better deal now. My cholesterol and blood pressure are now normal.

Read the original article on Business Insider
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