3 signs your aging loved one may be ready for assisted living
As Mom and Dad grow older, the big question might be looming in the background: When is the right time to provide living support?
Dr. Macie P. Smith, a licensed social worker and gerontologist based in South Carolina, shared with Fox News Digital that there may be a few telltale signs that it’s time to make a move, whether it’s hiring an at-home aide or seeking out a living facility.
Most importantly, Smith noted that if a senior is at risk of hurting themselves or getting into dangerous situations, it’s most likely time to call in help.
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Smith, who specializes in seniors living with Alzheimer’s disease and cognitive impairment, recommended starting with enlisting at-home aid before pulling a loved one out of their home.
"The last thing anybody wants to lose is their independence," she said. "The last thing anybody wants is to live in a space with 50 other strangers."
At-home support can help lower the risk of self-inflicted danger from incidents like leaving the stove on, or mobility issues that could lead to falls.
As people age, their capacity to remember things begins to naturally slow down.
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Sometimes, this presents in the form of diseases like Alzheimer’s or dementia. The severity of memory loss in seniors dictates whether living support is necessary, according to experts.
Smith mentioned how forgetting familiar tasks and activities, like eating, can pose a danger to someone’s health.
"If their nutrition is poor, it may be because they are dealing with some pain that they are not expressing to anyone else," she said. "They may be dealing with some depression and, frankly, they just don't have the motivation."
The expert advised watching out for signs of spoiled food in the refrigerator.
The person may also forget how to do simple tasks like making a bed, doing laundry, washing the dishes or following cooking instructions.
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"If they're having trouble cognitively, they're having trouble making decisions, and that's going to ultimately impact … how they live independently," Smith said.
Repetition of thoughts is also common in individuals living with Alzheimer’s disease and dementia.
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Smith noted that if your loved one is repeating themselves more frequently, it’s a good idea to bring in some support not only for help with day-to-day living, but also for attention and friendship.
"In some cases, it's because they're lonely," she said. "It's because they're living by themselves, and they don't have any type of engagement or motivation."
Smith emphasized how difficult it can be to make the decision to place a loved one into care, especially if it means removing them from their home.
The senior should "always be a part of the conversation" when it comes to deciding the next steps, she urged.
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"The last thing you want to do is come in and uproot them from the place where they feel the most comfortable and safe, just because you feel they shouldn't be there," Smith said.
"Always include them in the conversation, even if they're in the early stages of dementia," she encouraged. "They still have a lucidity … to be able to participate in the decision-making process."
Whether the decision is to bring in care or move somewhere new, Smith said the senior should never be made to feel unsafe or unfamiliar, as this can increase dangerous behaviors, cause agitation and lead to health decline.
The conversation also should not start with the assumption that the senior will not accommodate your request or suggestion.
"Don't assume they're not going to remember," Smith said. "Don't assume they're going to be irritable and combative."
"Respect them enough to have the conversation, because they still have the ability to make decisions about their life."