Dear Abby: He insists on singing, and we’re losing gigs because of it
DEAR ABBY: I am a male singer and guitarist who has been playing in small local venues most of my life.
My new duo partner is a nice person and decent multi-instrumentalist. The problem is that he should not sing, though he believes he is a fine vocalist.
His new girlfriend recently confided to me that she feels he shouldn’t sing because it is damaging to our joint reputation and to my own as a musician.
She doesn’t know how to tell him or whether she should. I don’t know how to tell him, either, without risking our partnership — although at this point, any gigs we acquire will be one-offs because of the poor vocal performance that will result.
Over the years, I have failed auditions and learned from constructive criticism. Should I tell him or try to dissolve our duo gently?
— OLD CANADIAN ROCKER
DEAR ROCKER: Your relationship with this partner isn’t social; it is business.
He is in denial about his limited abilities. Bursting his bubble by enlightening him that his singing is holding you back will not endear you to him. It would be best to dissolve the partnership as kindly as you can and find a replacement.
DEAR ABBY: I was recently invited for a long weekend at my friend’s new home in South Carolina.
She has wanted me to come there to visit ever since she purchased it. I had delayed my visit because I sprained my ankle, and it still has not healed.
My friend then told me that during my visit her daughter and son-in-law will be there with their two young children. She said we can babysit her grandchildren when their parents go out.
I told her I don’t want to go down there to babysit. I have no children and do not enjoy babysitting.
She used to do this to me before she moved. Now she’s upset that I won’t help her. What should I do?
— NOT INTERESTED IN THE SOUTH
DEAR NOT INTERESTED: What you do is this: Repeat to your manipulative friend that your ankle is still healing, it is difficult to get around and you are unable to chase after young children.
Tell her that when you are better you would love to see her place and visit one on one. Then stick to your guns.
DEAR ABBY: My parents are starting to get older and have a number of health issues. I am one of three siblings now in our 40s.
My parents got an attorney to write their will and cut one of my siblings out completely. They decided to give the other two-thirds of their estate while leaving me with only one-third.
They claim the reason is that my sister will be responsible for their health when and if they get to that point.
We aren’t talking about lots of money, but I don’t know what I should do.
— NOT THE FAVORITE IN MICHIGAN
DEAR NOT THE FAVORITE: What you should do is accept your parents’ reasoning, as well as their generosity, and not argue about it. Be grateful, because doing otherwise will get you nowhere.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.