MAFS brutal sex snubs hail from porn’s ideal that women should look like Michelle Keegan… but it’s a recipe for disaster

IT was a telly moment that tore through the heart of women up and down the country – and one Sun Agony Aunt Sally Land has seen too many times in real life.

MAFS contestant Polly Sellman, 28, choked back tears as her new husband Adam Nightingale cruelly admitted he didn’t fancy her after they had sex on their wedding night.

After meeting his blushing bride at the altar, Adam said: “The initial attraction’s not 100 percent there. She’s not my usual type. 10 out of 10 for me would be petite, brunette, dark features, tan. She’s not what I expected.”

In scenes that were hard to watch – and which Sally dissects as part of our Celebs on the Couch series below – he disrespected the stunning redhead by labelling her a ‘four out of 10’ and saying he was looking for a “petite brunette” who resembled Megan Fox or Brassic actress Michelle Keegan.

But he’s not the only groom to cause a stir.

Since the show came back onto our screens two weeks ago, the grooms have been labelled some of the most ‘savage’ contestants to date, brutally rejecting their brides AND criticising their looks.

Bride Emma Barnes was left sobbing: “I’m a size 14. I’m not a f***ing monster,” after her husband Caspar Todd put down her looks saying he didn’t usually go for ‘curves’, despite opening up about struggling with his own body image.

The head gardener made his feelings known to Emma during their honeymoon – telling the sales manager that he didn’t find her “sexy” and was “not attracted to her” – whilst also whinging: “This is really hard for me.”

Both men have been slated by viewers, with one furious fan slamming groom Adam’s rejection of Polly saying: “Imagine [being] the guy who is giving Susan Boyle with veneers sitting across from this beautiful lady and not being satisfied”.

And another added: “Anyone with any history of ED or body dysmorphia, please skip #MAFSUK this year.

“[It’s] highly triggering as these beautiful and confident women are reduced to dress size by mediocre men who have misplaced superiority complexes.”

The comments come amid a rise in male misogyny fuelled by influencers like Andrew Tate and women still struggling with body confidence and accepting themselves.

Here, in part two of our Celebs on the Couch series, Dear Deidre Agony Aunt Sally Land, reveals how you should navigate your concerns if you don’t physically find your other half attractive – and delves into the disturbing reasons Adam and Casper may feel the way they do…

SALLY SAYS: We live in image-obsessed times and while none of us can fake an attraction, discounting people who don’t fit into narrow ideals like Adam and Caspar have is the fastest way to end relationships.

Putting down your partner for their looks not only reflects your own insecurities but is also very damaging for your partner’s self-esteem and mental health.

With the ready availability of so much free porn, many men in particular have developed completely unrealistic expectations of what their partners should look like. 

Exposed to heavily edited, airbrushed and surgically enhanced adult performers, many men expect the women they date to look exactly the same.

But of course these films are about creating a fantasy and are in no way reflective of real life.

Having sex is such a personal and intimate act, and for many people exposing your body to another is in itself enough to make them feel intensely vulnerable.

So rejection so soon after this nerve-wracking milestone will cut particularly deeply.

Just like fashion, different body shape ideals and looks come and go with the seasons.

But unlike the latest skinny, flared or boyfriend jeans you can’t simply ditch your curves because they are ‘out of date’.

Of course we can all get fitter and eat more healthily but our body shapes are more or less dictated by our genes.

So criticising your partner’s shape because you prefer ‘skinny’ isn’t going to magically achieve that – unless of course they make themselves very ill.

And anyone who genuinely cares for someone would only ever want the best for them.

As a society we are conditioned to expect men to constantly want sex, whenever it is on offer.

This assumption does a disservice to many men who genuinely want to get close and feel desired by their partner – not simply sex with any available woman.

But the reality is that sexual rejection can feel magnified for female partners who believe men should always want sex and especially when it’s on offer.

For anyone who holds onto these unattainable ideals, not only are you seriously limiting your chances of meeting someone compatible, but you are also disregarding so many other important considerations like do you have similar life goals, common interests, do you like each other.

Marriage and long term relationships are hard enough when all those other boxes are ticked.

By distracting yourself with a fantasy partner you really are setting yourself up for disaster.

If something is worrying you, write to my team of trained counsellors for free at deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk