Add news
March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010
August 2010
September 2010 October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 April 2013 May 2013 June 2013 July 2013 August 2013 September 2013 October 2013 November 2013 December 2013 January 2014 February 2014 March 2014 April 2014 May 2014 June 2014 July 2014 August 2014 September 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2014 January 2015 February 2015 March 2015 April 2015 May 2015 June 2015 July 2015 August 2015 September 2015 October 2015 November 2015 December 2015 January 2016 February 2016 March 2016 April 2016 May 2016 June 2016 July 2016 August 2016 September 2016 October 2016 November 2016 December 2016 January 2017 February 2017 March 2017 April 2017 May 2017 June 2017 July 2017 August 2017 September 2017 October 2017 November 2017 December 2017 January 2018 February 2018 March 2018 April 2018 May 2018 June 2018 July 2018 August 2018 September 2018 October 2018 November 2018 December 2018 January 2019 February 2019 March 2019 April 2019 May 2019 June 2019 July 2019 August 2019 September 2019 October 2019 November 2019 December 2019 January 2020 February 2020 March 2020 April 2020 May 2020 June 2020 July 2020 August 2020 September 2020 October 2020 November 2020 December 2020 January 2021 February 2021 March 2021 April 2021 May 2021 June 2021 July 2021 August 2021 September 2021 October 2021 November 2021 December 2021 January 2022 February 2022 March 2022 April 2022 May 2022 June 2022 July 2022 August 2022 September 2022 October 2022 November 2022 December 2022 January 2023 February 2023 March 2023 April 2023 May 2023 June 2023 July 2023 August 2023 September 2023 October 2023 November 2023 December 2023 January 2024 February 2024 March 2024 April 2024 May 2024 June 2024 July 2024
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
News Every Day |

7 Things to Say When Someone Gaslights You


Imagine you have a serious talk with your partner—yet when you bring it up a couple weeks later, they say: “We never had that conversation! You must be thinking of something else.” Or your boss gives you an assignment but omits crucial information, later berating you for falling short and claiming you were provided with the exact instructions you know you never received. Maybe you keep hearing that you’re overreacting, too sensitive, or misinterpreting things.

All are possible examples of gaslighting. The (frequently misused) term describes “the act of when someone is talking to or communicating with you, making you feel like your reality is being questioned,” says Laura Sgro, a therapist in Los Angeles who specializes in helping people navigate dysfunctional families or relationships. Over time, it can take a serious toll on mental health: “A lot of times people feel like they’re losing their grip on reality,” Sgro says. “What that can look like is a lot of self-doubt, and perhaps internalizing your own feelings and needs and not communicating them.” Anxiety and depression can follow.

[time-brightcove not-tgx=”true”]

Gaslighting exists on a spectrum, Sgro adds, and it’s not always possible—or safe—to engage with the person doing it. That’s because their goal is to win, not to problem-solve, she says, so you won’t get anywhere. But sometimes, especially if the gaslighting isn’t a behavioral pattern, you can effectively shut down the conversation and prevent it from happening again. We asked experts what to say, and why it works.

“We seem to have different memories of that conversation. Here’s what I remember happening.”

Asserting your reality without blaming or accusing can go a long way, says Deborah Gilman, a psychologist in Pittsburgh. “This approach disrupts the gaslighter’s attempt to control the narrative,” she adds. By calmly stating your experience, “you plant a seed of doubt in their manipulation and show you won’t be easily swayed.” She advises speaking clearly and confidently, while making eye contact. Gaslighters thrive on emotional responses, Gilman stresses, so stick to the facts and avoid getting defensive. If the other person tries to twist your words, simply restate your perspective: “Yes, that’s part of what happened, but what I’m focusing on is…”

Read More: Gaslighting, Narcissist, and More Psychology Terms You’re Misusing

“I’m not comfortable with how you’re characterizing the situation. Let’s talk about [original topic] instead.”

Gilman likes this way of setting a boundary and redirecting the conversation. “It takes control back,” she says. Plus, it directly addresses the other person’s behavior. If they continue gaslighting you, repeat the boundary: “I already said I’m not comfortable with this. Can we move on?” Becoming a broken record, she notes, helps ensure that what you’re saying resonates, while putting a stop to further arguing.

“We may not agree, but my feelings are still valid.”

If traffic signals regulated conversation, this response would be a “screeching red light,” Sgro says. As she puts it: “Where do you go from there?” Ideally, the other person will use it as an opportunity to look inward and reflect on the fact that their partner is feeling invalidated, which can temper the argument. Plus, “this approach really calls out that we’re not trying to be right,” Sgro says. “We’re just trying to express the way that we each feel.”

“Let’s take a step back and write down what happened from both our viewpoints.”

When you’re not feeling heard, the best solution is often to take a break for a few minutes. Natalie Rosado, a licensed mental health counselor in Tampa, suggests taking it one step further and using your time apart to write down your perspective on what happened to spark the disagreement. While it’s impossible to reason with some people who gaslight, others are open to having a conversation and arriving at a resolution—just not, perhaps, in the heat of the moment. Spending time together reviewing what you each wrote can be eye-opening. Plus, it serves another purpose: “You’re able to go back and review things that you’ve written down during previous incidents, so you can recall situations or conversations and have tangible evidence,” Rosado says. “It’s a way to combat some of those thoughts when you’re wondering if you’re losing your sanity or questioning your reality.”

“I feel like we’re not on the same page. Can we involve a neutral third party to help us understand each other better?”

If gaslighting starts to become a pattern, you might benefit from working with a therapist—either together or separately. The goal isn’t necessarily to improve the relationship, Rosado notes. “More than anything, it’s to provide psychoeducation and support for the person who’s in a relationship with the gaslighter,” she says. “It’s an additional person who can be an objective party—someone who can help them gauge their experiences.” It’s always good, she adds, to have a second set of eyes, especially on unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Read More: How to Tell if Someone Is Lying to You, According to Experts

“Wow, that’s an interesting way to remember things! Let’s try to stick to the facts.”

Using humor can help take the power away from the gaslighter and make it less likely that they’ll continue to try to manipulate you, says Jenny Maenpaa, a licensed clinical social worker in New York. She advises keeping your tone lighthearted and flashing a quick smile. Ideally, the other person will laugh and move on to a different topic of conversation. If they continue fixating on their version of events, Maenpaa suggests responding: “That’s interesting. Maybe we can look at [evidence like texts or photos] to refresh our memories?”

“I’ve noticed a pattern in our conversations where my recollections are often questioned. Can we focus on finding solutions rather than debating memories?”

Rosado thinks of this response as “soaring above the content of the argument.” Instead of getting into a power struggle over the details of the incident, she says, it allows you to adopt a 360-degree view. “What you’re trying to do is say, ‘Let’s move past exactly how we remember that situation, and figure out possible ways forward,’” she says. “A way to do that would be to identify, ‘What would be a goal of mine in this relationship moving forward?’ and then, ‘What would be a goal of yours?’” It’s a constructive way to ensure you’re both on the same page—and that gaslighting doesn’t cast a shadow over your future relationship.


14 июля: какой сегодня праздник, что было в этот день

The Faculty of International Journalism and Mass Communications of the Eurasian International University conducts an additional set of applicants!

See the $10M New Orleans mansion with a grisly past that lured a potential new buyer in less than a day

The Truth About Female Sexual Desire

He Almost Quit Being A Vet, But Found His Calling Helping Unhoused People - The Dodo

Read also

Improved USWNT win hard-fought 1-0 victory against Mexico

Vamos Auto [Greenville] in Greenville, Texas 75402

Charlie Thorne

News, articles, comments, with a minute-by-minute update, now on

News Every Day

The Faculty of International Journalism and Mass Communications of the Eurasian International University conducts an additional set of applicants! — latest news 24/7. You can add your news instantly now — here

News Every Day

The Truth About Female Sexual Desire

Sports today

Новости тенниса
Яна Новотна

Крейчикова о своем тренере Новотной, которая умерла в 2017-м: «Я даже не мечтала, что однажды выиграю тот же трофей, что и Яна»

Спорт в России и мире

В Каменске-Уральском проходят престижные национальные соревнования по мотокроссу

All sports news today

Sports in Russia today


Футболисты «Енисея» победили «КАМАЗ» в матче Первой лиги

Новости России

Game News

AMD представила технологию NTBC, которая уменьшит объём игр на 70 % — Call of Duty уместится в 45 Гбайт



Губернаторы России
Сергей Брановицкий

Дистрибьюция Музыки.

«Сочи» провалился с Екатеринбурге, «Торпедо» оформило разгром! Сезон в Первой Лиге стартовал

Shot: в Москве у мужчины разорвалось легкое из-за веселящего газа

Пытался защитить семью: личность погибшего при покушении на Трампа установили

Театр и Концерт, Россия и Дети, Культура: На фестиваль в Якутск собрались директора крупнейших цирков, продюсеры, и профессиональные артисты

Быстро среагировала: Долина отказалась брать букет цветов от поклонницы

Балерина Волочкова подала в суд на Пенсионный фонд из-за потери трудового стажа

В «дочках» «Ростеха» нашлись мертвые души // Вынесен приговор по делу о махинациях в госкорпорации

Анжелика Варум появилась на Юбилейном образовательном форуме Агутина в Сочи

Хорошо, но без финала: как Медведев завершил выступление на Уимблдоне

Второй год подряд: Медведев взял сет у Алькараса, но вновь проиграл в полуфинале Уимблдона

«Исхудавшая, но с сияющей улыбкой»: онкобольная Кейт Миддлтон появилась на финале Уимблдона

Express: Медведеву дали предупреждение за ругань с судьей в полуфинале Уимблдона

В Каменске-Уральском проходят престижные национальные соревнования по мотокроссу

Популярные направления доставки грузов из Костромы


Студия звукозаписи в Москве. Студия звукозаписи цена.

Кубок России по мини-футболу для спортсменов с нарушением зрения пройдет в Дзержинске

Минтранс поручил Шереметьево и "Аэрофлоту" ускорить предполетные процедуры

АО «Транснефть - Север» в I полугодии 2024 года выполнило диагностику более 1 тыс. км трубопроводов в 4 регионах

Дубль Глушенкова, бенефис Вендела и гол Смолова: «Зенит» обыграл «Краснодар» в матче за Суперкубок России

В середине лета вернется настоящая зима и выпадет снег: погода с 16 июля преподнесет суровый "сюрприз"

Синоптик Шувалов рассказал, когда жара уйдет из Москвы

Кто был задержан по делу об изнасиловании у "Останкино": Опубликованы фото мигрантов

Музыкальный концерт «Подарок любимому городу» пройдёт в Пскове 16 июля

Путин в России и мире

Персональные новости
Ольга Бузова

«Вот ты мужчина? Ты можешь наплевать на правила?» Ольга Бузова подкатила к участнику «Музыкальной интуиции» в новом выпуске шоу

News Every Day

The Faculty of International Journalism and Mass Communications of the Eurasian International University conducts an additional set of applicants!

Friends of Today24

Музыкальные новости

Персональные новости