Stop introducing yourself by talking about your job. It's boring and no one cares.
Rick Gayle Studio/Getty Images and Megan Willett-Wei/Insider
- A common tendency when meeting new people is to ask, "So what do you do?"
- People often respond by describing their job or company.
- This is a boring way to intro ourselves to new people. Let's ask more about passions and hobbies.
Think about the last time you met a new group of people. After getting to know everyone's name, one of the most common follow-ups is, "So what do you do?" And instinctively, people reply with their job and talk about their company, their role, and their day-to-day responsibilities.
I know because I do it too — the other night I was out with a group of mostly new people, and I had to listen to how one of them handles IT for a Swedish start-up and how another works as an exterior designer.
This is a boring and shallow way to get to actually know someone, and it's uninteresting as the listener
I'll be the first to admit that when I start talking to a new person about my own job, I get bored of hearing myself talk. There are a few professions where something might naturally lead to a lot of interesting follow-ups — a backup dancer for Rihanna or the prime minister of one of those super tiny European countries with a suspiciously high GDP — but for most of us, it's not that exciting to describe our day-to-day.
But when someone is talking about something they're super passionate about, your ears can't help but perk up. It can be something completely random — I caught up with a relatively new friend a few nights back and we had an amazing conversation about his strong opinions on the need for public transit, and listening to someone passionately argue against cars is way more fun than hearing about something their manager did that bothered them.
The Hobby Drama subreddit proves this to be true: the entire reason it exists is to give people updates on some of the drama in different niche communities, and it has 1.3 million subscribers.
Next time you meet someone new, you can ask them: 'What do you love to do?'
The easiest way to change this is to be proactive when meeting new people and asking them questions like, "What do you love to do?" and "What are you an expert in?" Most people will see this as an opportunity to go beyond discussing their work and instead focus on what they truly like to do.
Instead of learning something about how someone's work cafeteria had some drama last week, you'll likely learn something brand new and get to know the person even better.