I want an open relationship with my partner but he won’t understands my needs
DEAR DEIDRE: I WANT to broach the idea of an open relationship with my partner but I don’t know how.
We are gay men.
He is 45 and I’m 51.
We’ve been together for 20 years and live together.
We love one another but the sex between us has never been great.
We’ve had none at all in the past three years – no touching, no cuddling, nothing.
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It’s the elephant in the room.
I started looking at some gay dating apps because I was considering meeting somebody for sexual relief but my partner found out and was gutted.
We had a row but I don’t think he understands my needs.
He is now on the same app, but he uses it to chat rather than hooking up with other guys.
I can’t risk going to meet somebody for a quickie behind his back because he’d go mad but I have needs.
READ MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s natural to want to have a sex life.
It’s time to discuss that elephant in the room because neither of you is happy.
Communication has broken down although you both want to be together.
The best sex is when you are in a loving and caring relationship, which is what you have.
While some couples can enjoy open relationships, it sounds like you would much rather have sex with your partner, so work on this.
Read my support pack How Sex Therapy Helps – an expert will also help you explore how to reconnect.