Dad begs for help as he hates his five-year-old so much he never spends time with him… then realises why they can’t bond
A FATHER has revealed that he hates his five-year-old son and can’t stand spending time with him.
Not only this, but the man said that he really wishes he could afford to ship his son off to boarding school to get away from him.
The dad-of-one took to the community sharing platform Reddit to explain that he thinks he hates his child, as he asked Reddit users for advice on his situation.
He said: “I think I hate my child, please help!!
“Throwaway here because it would kill my wife if she ever found out.
“I’m really sorry if this comes out disjointed, but I’m dealing with a lot of emotion here.
“I’m the father of a 5-year-old boy. We only have one child, and he’s perfectly normal as far as children go.
“On the surface, everything is fine, but I really hate spending time with him.
“He’s a good kid- not fussy, really polite, likes jets and planes and things… but I just hate doing things with him.
“I hate when we have to have him do things with the family.
“I caught myself wishing we could afford boarding school or ship him off someplace.
“I mean, I care for him. Roof over the head, food, clothes, toys, safety etc- but I don’t really feel any connection.”
The man explained that his wife has started to notice a distance between the man and his child.
He continued: “I don’t really feel like talking with him and my wife is starting to notice.
“When we “spend quality time together” I try to find activities that are engaging, but don’t require much input from me at all.
“I try to pawn him off on play dates, or the grandparents as much as possible.
“He’ll want to hang on me while we’re “playing” or nap on the couch with me, or hug etc.. but that’s just not my thing.
“I don’t know what it is, but there’s no spark of pride.
“It’s gotten to the point that at the job I’ve been at for a year and a half, my coworkers just found out that I’ve got a kid because I don’t ever talk about him.”
The dad continued and revealed that he has been seeing a therapist about the situation.
He added: “This is sick. I must be sick. I’m seeing a therapist about this, which is a start, but you can’t force someone to love someone else?
“I don’t know, I’m just really confused and worried that this is going to break my household up.
“And yeah, it’s not this kid’s fault he ended up with me as a dad, it’s not fair to him.
“I just hate spending time with him, talking with him, and having him touch me.”
Reddit users quickly took to the comments to share their advice for the confused father.
One person said: “Does the idea of having an older son appeal to you? Can you see yourself with a 13-year-old, sharing your interests, playing sports, enjoying the same movies, etc?
“If so, think of this time you have with your son now as an investment in that future son, with whom you will be better able to connect.”
Another added: “My advice? Fake it ’til you make it. Get over yourself and just get involved with your son. I mean truly – in the dirt and get those fingernails dirty – kind of involved.
“You are not the center of the universe and if you feel like you should be a part of this kid’s life and not potentially screw him up you need to just do it. Don’t do it for you. Do it for him.”
A third commented: “Parenting is tough, no lie. Keep on keeping on and soon he won’t be a little a kid but a real, fully formed person and the history that you have with him will (may?) solidify the bond then. Good luck.”
The man later opened up and revealed that he had realised the real reason why he couldn’t bond with the youngster.
He added: “Thank you for all of the support and advice.
“I decided to talk at length with my wife about this.
“An incredibly long and tearful story short, the child is not mine.
“I’m off to stay with my parents for the holiday and then into therapy / meet with lawyers.
“Thank you again for the kind words!”