Review: Even J.Lo can't save this 'Shotgun Wedding'

Spoiler alert: J.Lo looks fantastic in a wedding dress.

You surely knew that, given not only the plethora of wedding-themed movies Jennifer Lopez has made over the years, from “The Wedding Planner” to “Monster-in-Law” to the recent “Marry Me,” but also her own offscreen life, of course.

And now comes “Shotgun Wedding,” where the ageless pop star and rom-com queen dons a pouffy white concoction that gradually sheds layers of tulle to become increasingly sexy as Lopez fights off not only cringey wedding guests but machine-gun toting pirates. She switches at one point to combat boots — plucked from a dead guy! —- over wedding heels, and here’s another spoiler alert: if anyone can make combat boots work with pouffy tulle while running in slow motion, it’s Lopez.

But all the charm and style in the world, and J.Lo has more than anyone, can’t make up for the bizarre tonal imbalance of “Shotgun Wedding,” a movie too violent to be funny and too funny (in the odd, weird sense) to be fun. The movie, directed by Jason Moore, also commits the unlikely crime of under-using that other bulletproof Jennifer of the moment, Jennifer Coolidge, who often seems to be searching palpably for decent lines. Come on, people! You had BOTH Jennifers! This should have been a slam dunk.

Kudos, though, to whoever picked the stunning resort for this particular destination wedding (the shoot took place in the Dominican Republic, standing in for the Philippines). It's here that we first meet Darcy, our bride, at the rehearsal dinner, already looking so much better than everyone else, in resort wear and turquoise chunky jewelry — but we digress.

Darcy is navigating a guest list filled with proverbial hand grenades, even before the real grenades start flying. There’s her icy mother (Sonia Braga, also...