My daughter manipulates everyone to get free childcare
DEAR DEIDRE: MY daughter manages to manipulate everyone so we fit in with her and her childcare needs.
Our granddaughter is two, my daughter is 38 and her husband, a hospital porter, is 40.
We look after the little girl two days a week while they are at work.
I’m 62 and I’m not in great health but I can’t resist helping out.
My daughter runs late and then she’ll call and ask if I’ll go to her house instead, or she will ring just as I’m going shopping and ask me to step in because my granddaughter has a cold and can’t go to the childminder.
They’ve just got back from holiday. She called to say she was tired but her daughter had slept all the way home, so was bouncing.
I offered to have my granddaughter at ours but my daughter said: “That would be great but can you come here?”
I feel unappreciated.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Your daughter is taking you for granted, which makes you feel resentful. By setting boundaries, you’ll both know where you stand and protect the relationship.
Spell it out that you’re happy to childmind as arranged but anything outside of that has to be pre-planned.
She has to find alternative emergency back-up. My support pack Standing Up For Yourself will help you get the message across.
