Add news
March 2010April 2010May 2010June 2010July 2010
August 2010
September 2010October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011March 2011April 2011May 2011June 2011July 2011August 2011September 2011October 2011November 2011December 2011January 2012February 2012March 2012April 2012May 2012June 2012July 2012August 2012September 2012October 2012November 2012December 2012January 2013February 2013March 2013April 2013May 2013June 2013July 2013August 2013September 2013October 2013November 2013December 2013January 2014February 2014March 2014April 2014May 2014June 2014July 2014August 2014September 2014October 2014November 2014December 2014January 2015February 2015March 2015April 2015May 2015June 2015July 2015August 2015September 2015October 2015November 2015December 2015January 2016February 2016March 2016April 2016May 2016June 2016July 2016August 2016September 2016October 2016November 2016December 2016January 2017February 2017March 2017April 2017May 2017June 2017July 2017August 2017September 2017October 2017November 2017December 2017January 2018February 2018March 2018April 2018May 2018June 2018July 2018August 2018September 2018October 2018November 2018December 2018January 2019February 2019March 2019April 2019May 2019June 2019July 2019August 2019September 2019October 2019November 2019December 2019January 2020February 2020March 2020April 2020May 2020June 2020July 2020August 2020September 2020October 2020November 2020December 2020January 2021February 2021March 2021April 2021May 2021June 2021July 2021August 2021September 2021October 2021November 2021December 2021January 2022February 2022March 2022April 2022May 2022June 2022July 2022August 2022September 2022October 2022November 2022December 2022
News Every Day |

I struggled with anorexia for years — but people actually encouraged my weight loss because of my bigger size

The author, Jenna Clark, in 2022 at 23 years old
The author, Jenna Clark, in 2022 at 23.
  • I didn't realize until I was about 14 that my body was larger than some of my peers' bodies.
  • I stopped eating as much and exercised compulsively. That spiraled into an eating disorder.
  • Almost no one in my life except for my family saw it as an issue; in fact, many encouraged me.

I do not remember a day when I wasn't living in a larger body. While I always knew I was bigger than most other kids in my class, I didn't think about it much until I was about 14, when I realized none of the other girls in my class had their stomachs roll over the skirt that was part of our uniform when they were sitting.

None of my peers commented on my body, but the fact that I sat alone most days at lunch was a signal to me that I was different — and not in a good way. And as each day passed, the desire to fit in grew stronger.

The harmful rhetoric I overheard at gatherings from the older women in my family whom I looked up to — such as "a minute on your lips adds a pound to your hips," or comments that boys like girls with curves in the "right places" — didn't help my self-esteem much either. Though I was only a teenager, I understood what the so-called right places were, and I knew my curves were in the "wrong" ones.

I took these comments as an implication that I would never be loved or desired for who I was, in the body I had. This scared me and made me feel that I needed to lose weight to be accepted. The only way I thought that would be possible was if I were to exercise a lot and basically stop eating, so that's exactly what I did.

I started eating less and exercising more, and I pushed through the signals my body was sending that it needed more fuel

I started eating less than a third of what I was used to. I measured out every morsel of food I ate and was constantly thinking about my next "meal" because I was never satisfied.

In addition to having an extremely low caloric intake, which I tracked religiously, I would get on the treadmill at the end of each day and stay on it until the screen said I'd burned the same number of calories I'd eaten. I didn't care if I was lightheaded or exhausted; I pushed through the feeling.

I thought this routine was the recipe for success, but it only led to disaster. I continued living this way for about a year and dropped about 60 pounds.

The author, Jenna Clark, in 2014 at 15 years old
Clark in 2014, at 15.

During this period, my parents were growing increasingly concerned for my health and well-being. They tried sending me to eating-disorder specialists, nutritionists, and therapists, but I refused to go; I insisted to them that there was nothing wrong with what I was doing, though in reality I was silently suffering.

Over the course of that year, keeping up the unsustainable routine I'd created consumed me. I stopped hanging out with friends and going out to eat because I feared not knowing how many calories I would ingest or whether I'd have the time to "work off" the calories I'd eaten that day.

My doctor's comments about my weight only encouraged my unhealthy behavior

When it was time for my annual checkup, my doctor noticed the drastic change in weight. But instead of responding with concern, when she saw the number on her monitor, she simply said, "Good, good."

Hearing these words from a doctor solidified for me at the time that I was doing the right thing and should keep going, despite what my parents and other close relatives thought — after all, I reasoned that she was a medical professional and they weren't.

Most people — excluding my close relatives — saw me only for what I looked like. They'd say things like "You look great" and "Keep up the great work."

What they didn't see was that I was crying myself to sleep at night from the hunger pangs, or that I was about to pass out on the treadmill. They had no idea I was suffering from anorexia. My hair was falling out, I was more irritable than ever, and I was miserable. All they saw was a thin body, and they associated that with health, goodness, and a state of thriving.

Since this was such a traumatic experience for me, I can't recall the exact moment I experienced a wake-up call. But what I do remember is that over time, I gradually started to eat more, develop a healthier relationship with exercise, and realize that self-love had to come before romantic love, at least for me.

The author, Jenna Clark, in 2022 at 22 years old.
Clark at 22.

Creating a better relationship with my body has taken time and is something I'm still working on — but it's worth it

I began to understand that undernourishing and overexerting my body was the opposite of loving myself, regardless of what I heard around me.

Acting on that new understanding took a lot of strength. Some days were better than others, but over time, new habits formed, and my mindset shifted from one of self-hatred to self-love.

Though my parents didn't say anything to me at the time about this shift, I could tell they were happy to see that my joyful and youthful light was starting to shine through again.

I am in a much better place with my body now, even though I still am in a larger one. My journey with food and exercise has not been easy or linear, and it's one I will be on for the rest of my life. But I'm happy that I started the process of recovery because I feel like I can finally live my life again. I can go out to dinner with my friends or to a theme park and eat ice cream without constantly worrying about whether my weight will fluctuate because of it or whether I'll be able to "burn it off" later that day.

I see now that I spent so much of my life attaching my worth to the look and shape of my body. Today I realize that I am much more than that.

Read the original article on Insider

Read also

Charges: Wisconsin boy, 10, killed mom over VR headset

Report: Stanford in Talks With Ravens’ Roman About HC Job

Adeleke alleges Osun govt vehicles missing, issues ultimatum

News, articles, comments, with a minute-by-minute update, now on

News Every Day

One of The Greatest Britons in History - Joe Calzaghe — latest news 24/7. You can add your news instantly now — here

News Every Day

Billionaire investor Howard Marks touts a bargain boom as interest-rate fears grip markets - and predicts a surge in companies going bankrupt

Sports today

Новости тенниса
Марди Фиш

"Что?!" Тэйлор Фритц высказал возмущение по поводу штрафа и дисквалификации Марди Фиша и Боба Брайана

Спорт в России и мире

Возвращение супер коллаборации А4! Новый бокс с локерами от А4 и Бургер Кинг


All sports news today


Sports in Russia today


Viasat начинает производство спортивного ориджинал

Новости России

Game News

TikTok roleplayers have made a viral game out of trading with capitalism cats


Кубок Москвы по джампингу прошёл в ТРЦ «Нора»

Губернаторы России
Филипп Киркоров

Татьяна Навка, Филипп Киркоров, Камила Валиева, Юлия Пересильд и другие гости открытия ГУМ-Катка на Красной площади

В Нижегородском районе можно будет парковаться бесплатно с 1 по 7 января

Алексей Кудрин: от рок-группы до «Яндекса»?

Во Владимирской области в декабре можно будет полюбоваться на два звездопада

Парковаться в Южнопортовом в новогодние праздники можно будет бесплатно

Стало уроком: как Собчак подставила Басту

Рэп-исполнитель Карди Би посмотрела сериал «Корона» и сравнила проблемы обычных женщин с королевскими

Стать Участником Премии Fashion Meeting – 11 декабря в Москве!

Эпоха Утёсова, Синатры и Армстронга: в Севастополе устроят шоу с танцами и джазом

Пресс-служба ATP опубликовала подборку лучших матчей сезона-2022 на турнирах "Большого шлема"

"Что?!" Тэйлор Фритц высказал возмущение по поводу штрафа и дисквалификации Марди Фиша и Боба Брайана

Путинцева подобралась к топ-50 рейтинга WTA

Милош Раонич назвал победу в "Кубке Дэвиса" величайшим событием для канадского тенниса

Интервью с военным журналистом Артуром Геворкяном: история и аналитика

Шифр расшифрован! Механизм и спасение от эпидемии коронавирусов

СРОЧНО! Парламент Франции единогласно принял резолюцию в поддержку Армении и за введение санкций против Азербайджана

Новые провокации Азербайджана. «Южный Азербайджан» крепчает: Баку втягивается в антииранскую истерию

Олег Хорохордин принял участие в форуме межрегионального сотрудничества России и Казахстана

Дарья Донцова написала мультик для внука

Брат премьер-министра Армении Пашиняна попал в аварию

Звездный отдых: путешествуем по Израилю по следам певицы Жасмин

Москва аккумулирует инвесторов // Поставить городу батарей на 130 млрд рублей хотят сразу три госкорпорации

Ипотечный платеж в Екатеринбурге может вырасти на 12 тысяч рублей

Как вывести жирные пятна с джинсов за несколько минут: самые действенные методы

Овчинский: московская компания увеличила объем производства детской одежды в семь раз

Путин в России и мире

Персональные новости


Стало уроком: как Собчак подставила Басту

News Every Day

LAMB BUTTER Will Melt in Your Mouth! Ancient Food on the Silk Road!

Friends of Today24

Музыкальные новости

Персональные новости