I’m a supernanny – why I let my kids swear & bribe them to do homework but won’t give them free rein on screen time
SHE’S only a toddler but Gigi Hadid’s daughter Khai is a little girl who already knows her own mind.
Gigi had Khai with ex-partner Zayn Malik two years ago this week.
The model, 27, now said to be dating Hollywood actor Leonardo DiCaprio, told Vogue: “Khai isn’t even two and picks out her own outfits.
“The other day she picked a dress out of the hamper. I said, ‘What are you doing, it’s dirty’.
“But she wouldn’t put anything else on. She already has huge opinions of her own.”
Kathryn Mewes, of Channel 4’s The Three Day Nanny and mum to Harriet, seven, and Olivia, five, tells readers when it is OK — and not OK — to let your child call the shots . . .
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DO LET THEM CHOOSE THEIR CLOTHES: It really doesn’t matter what kids wear, so let them put on what they want. Clothes are a battle not worth having, so don’t wrap them up in something they don’t want.
Only put in their wardrobe what the season dictates so they can’t insist on wearing flip flops on a muddy walk.
And give them a pre-warning if they must ditch their football strip or Spider-Man costume for a visit to Grandma.
DON’T LET THEM DICTATE THEIR BEDTIMES: Children need a bedtime routine. For younger kids it is bath, book, bed.
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For older ones, remove their phones an hour before lights out.
A good rule of thumb is that your child needs an equal number of hours asleep and awake.
If they do insist on keeping the light on all night, remove the bulb or the lamp.
Bedtimes should not be rushed, but take one hour at the most. It is neglect to rob kids of sleep.
DO LET THEM SWEAR: If children hear swearing they will use it. As long as it is being used in the house, that’s fine.
I tell my kids if they need to swear, they must do it in their rooms where nobody can hear them.
If they are heard at school, their teachers will probably come down on them, so I tell them to curb it when out socially.
My daughter Harriet is seven and when she used her first swear word the other day, I completely ignored it.
Swearing at someone is very different and must not be tolerated. If you tell them they can’t swear at all, they will do it all the more.
DO LET THEM CHOOSE WHEN THEY EAT: I am very no- nonsense about food — because if you make it a battle, your child will win.
My attitude is, take it or leave it. Do not bribe them to eat by threatening to take away their pudding because there shouldn’t be “good” or “bad” food. Broccoli is as tasty as custard.
My kids know what I prepare is the meal of the day and I tell them it’s fine if they don’t eat it.
A child will not starve if they refuse to eat lunch, but do not give them choices. You do not run a café.
DON’T LET THEM DECIDE ON SCREEN TIME: Families can fall into a routine where kids get home from school and start playing on their tech for hours.
Do not snatch away their phones or games controllers. Instead, make clear when tech is allowed and for how long — and set a timer.
With my girls, I count down from five to one so they know it is about to go.
If they protest, I warn them that if they carry on, they lose it the next day. It works because I always follow it through.
DO LET THEM CHOOSE THEIR FRIENDS: Children must pick their own friends. While you might know that a friendship will not last or a new girlfriend is going to break their heart, they must learn.
The earlier they have a heartbreak, the stronger they will be.
DO LET THEM DECIDE TO DO HOMEWORK: I confess I pay my daughters to do homework because it is an incentive.
Every time they do their work they get 20p.
They can earn £1.20 in a day but can also earn nothing. I don’t care if they don’t do their homework on time. It isn’t me who loses lunch breaks or gets questioned in front of my friends.
DON’T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH BAD MANNERS: Never stand for verbal abuse from your children. It needs an immediate consequence.
It is easy to ignore backchat and your child’s demands but you must address it either in the moment or later.
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Do not shout but explain calmly they will get nowhere in life with their tone.
Sometimes parents need to address how they speak to their children.
If you are barking at them to put their shoes on, do not be surprised if they bark back.