I’m proud to be a flattie after battling breast cancer – my big boobs never defined me
RUNNING my fingers along the scars from my double mastectomy, I smiled.
I’d always had big breasts – at school they’d called me ‘Jo Jugs’, and in 2011 I’d had a reduction taking me from a JJ to a D cup because they’d been causing me back ache and discomfort.
Now, I was completely flat-chested, but rather than being upset, I only felt relief.
In May 2017, aged 42, I found a lump in my left boob. After a GP appointment, I was seen at my local breast clinic 10 days later.
A mammogram and a biopsy revealed a 4cm tumour behind my left breast.
Sitting in the consultant’s office with my mum, Patricia, 73, my head spun as I tried to take in the news that I had stage 2 breast cancer.
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‘Why me?’ I kept asking in deep shock. My thoughts immediately went to my daughter Florence, then nine, who I’d been a single mum to since she was 18 months old.
I didn’t want her to be scared, so I broke the news as gently as I could and promised her I would be OK.
The next month, I started six rounds of chemotherapy.
It was gruelling, with side effects including aching joints and sore rashes.
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When my hair started to fall out after my first cycle, I decided to shave it off. It was my way of not letting cancer control me.
When chemo ended in October 2017, I underwent a double mastectomy.
They only wanted to remove the left breast, but I pushed for both – I wanted to do everything I could to stop the cancer returning.
I was told before my mastectomy that I’d have to wait a year before having reconstructive surgery, as I’d need radiotherapy and to heal.
At the time, it never crossed my mind I wouldn’t have the surgery, it just felt like the next natural step.
After 15 sessions of radiotherapy to blast any remaining cancer cells in early 2018, I was discharged from the oncology unit and told I’d be invited back in time for my annual check-up, where breast reconstruction would be discussed.
That’s when I started adjusting to life as a flattie.
‘Why me?’ I kept asking in deep shock. My thoughts immediately went to my daughter Florence, then nine, who I’d been a single mum to since she was 18 months old.
Jo Knight
Sometimes I’d wear NHS breast prostheses, but they were uncomfortable.
I began to think: ‘Who am I wearing these for?’ Most of the time, I dressed as I always had. I realised I felt fine having no breasts.
All I cared about was being cancer-free.
As I neared my check-up in December 2018, I realised I didn’t want the reconstructive surgery.
The idea of going under the knife again filled me with dread. Having boobs or not didn’t define me, and I made the decision to remain a flattie for life.
Friends and family were very supportive and my consultant said if I ever changed my mind I could still have the surgery.
In November 2019, I set up an Instagram account, as I wanted to show other women you can embrace being a flattie.
Luckily, I’ve had nothing but positivity and some followers have said, because of me, they’ve now got the confidence to remain flat.
I know my cancer could return elsewhere, but I’m happy my decision to have a double mastectomy has reduced my chances of it coming back.
Jo Knight
Last August, I took to a catwalk naked, decorated with body paint, as part of a show celebrating body confidence at a London hotel by the artist Sophie Tea.
It was daunting, but as soon as I walked out in front of the crowd of cheering people, I felt so empowered.
And on holiday in Turkey last month, I went topless around the pool at the villa I was sharing with family, at ease with my flat chest.
I feel like you should never be ashamed of a scar – it shows a battle won.
Florence tells me how proud she is of me, both because of my body confidence and because I encourage other women to check their breasts.
Last month, I reached the milestone of five years since my diagnosis, and in November I’ll be trekking 100km across the Sahara with Giovanna Fletcher and 120 others for breast cancer awareness charity CoppaFeel!
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I know my cancer could return elsewhere, but I’m happy my decision to have a double mastectomy has reduced my chances of it coming back.
I feel strong and well, and that’s what matters – not whether I can fill a bra or not.”
- Follow Jo’s journey on Instagram @Tit_less_wonder
- Donate to Jo’s CoppaFeel trek at www.justgiving.com/titlesswonder
BTW
Breast cancer is the most common cancer in UK women with one woman diagnosed every 10 minutes.
Around 14,850 women diagnosed with breast cancer each year in the UK undergo a mastectomy.
