I can’t come out because even the thought of it gives me a panic attack
DEAR DEIDRE: I’M a gay man who can’t come out because of my constant panic attacks.
I’ve met a Spanish guy online who I regard as my boyfriend although we’ve never met. We are both 31.
We got chatting in the pandemic and he’s my first relationship.
We keep saying: “Wouldn’t it be great to meet?”
But when the time comes to book a flight, I start overthinking everything and my head is full of doubts and what-ifs.
Then I experience a full-blown panic attack.
I need constant reassurance from him that we are OK.
I can tell from his tone he’s cooling on me. He’s told me: “I don’t know where this is going but I want to keep talking.”
I think he’s had enough of my anxiety.
Get in touch with Deidre
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
Send an email to deardeidre@the-sun.co.uk
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
I’m determined to show him I can do this and commit to him.
But where do I start?
Most read in Dear Deidre
DEIDRE SAYS: You cannot truly know somebody and develop a relationship until you meet face to face. My support pack Love Online explains more.
If you cannot cope with going to Spain, ask him to visit you here.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
If he books a place to stay, rather than planning to stay with you, there is no pressure other than a meeting to see if you click.
My support pack Panic Attacks will help too.