There is ample nudity in all three of Robert Eggers’ exquisitely detailed films, The Witch, The Lighthouse, and The Northman, but no full-frontal male nudity. What gives? There was supposed to be a scene with Robert Pattinson’s “actual erect penis” in The Lighthouse, but that would have put the film in NC-17 territory, which was a no-go for box office success. Eggers tried again in The Northman — which features a naked sword fight on an erupting volcano — but he “didn’t get them,” he told Letterboxd with a sigh.
Eggers tried to take a glass-half-full perspective on the lack of dongs:
“It’s probably good that we don’t see any penises there; it might distract from the story and the tension, because human beings are such sad creatures that we would be trying to catch a glimpse the whole time.” That said, he does think full-frontal nudity could have added to an earlier sequence. “In the berserkers’ raid of the Slavic village, I think if some of those berserkers had been entirely naked, that would have been a lot scarier.”
Someone needs to let Eggers make his Nosferatu remake (with or without Harry Styles) and have every male character be naked. I’m worried for his happiness otherwise.